11 Easy Excuses to Give Cops

  1. Just think of the paperwork.
  2. I’m allergic to whatever your handcuffs are made out of.
  3. Oh, I didn’t know robbing that bank was illegal.
  4. What do you mean my window was only down 4 inches? I’m very certain that’s 6 inches.
  5. Evan Vest did it.
  6. Well, this American Bald Eagle wasn’t going to ride itself.
  7. Prove it.
  8. How could I have been driving this stolen car I’m sitting in? I have no hands.
  9. I can’t blow into that, sir, I was born without lungs.
  10. Well, I mean, that’s your definition of murder.
  11. Well, I’m pretty sure my friends 3 George Washingtons, 69 Franklin Delano Roosevelts, 666 Thomas Jeffersons and 420 Abraham Lincolns would disagree (Throw change in cop’s face (they love that)).

About Matt Redbeard

Hella Dope

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