Mainly because, apart from perhaps a black market bazaar in the outskirts of Nairobi, where else on earth do you go when you really, really need to buy a female hyena?

Seriously though, if anyone out there knows this “Chris” fellow, do us a solid and have him contact us. Because for starters, we need to buy this guy a round. And crown him King of Awesomeness Times Infinity Forever.

Legally to own FTW!!!

On second thought, as much as we want to believe that a hyena running around Eureka is cool with animal control and everything, we were under the vague impression that hyenas were, um, you know, sorta like wild animals