2018’s Newest Monthly Subscription Boxes

We’ve all seen them…Loot Crate, Blue Apron and others that sponsor some podcast we really don’t care to remember. We recently attended Box Con and got the scoop on the new subscription delivery services hitting a mailbox near you soon.

Box o’ Boxes – A box full of different sizes boxes for your monthly boxing needs

Trump Trunk – Every month you receive a shipment of supplies to build a wall around your house

Ex-box – Items from your previous partners just to bring you down (or up!) once a month

Meth Box – A box sealed with 80 different layers of tape, filled with 4 more boxes just like it

Box of Cox – Don’t get excited. It’s just full of obsolete cable modems

Blue Apron Employees Lunch Box – The fine folks at Blue Apron take whatever their employees didn’t eat at lunch and mail it to you

Deliverydoo – Rustic Aboriginal instruments sent straight to your door, mate

Box-o-Trouble – Each month an enemy of your choosing receives a suspicious amount of fertilizer, along with an anonymous tip to the FBI

Bate-Crate – A one-time use soundproof crate that you can climb inside of and masturbate in without your loved ones being able to see or hear you. Crates also available in extra-noisy and clear

Lox Box – Salmon by mail

Pass Stash – Each month you receive a sealed container of clean urine

Schrodinger’s Crate – Every month, the most valuable object in the universe is shipped directly to your door, guaranteed!*

*Guarantee void if crate is opened

DropBox – A monthly crate full of rare, one-of-a-kind items that have been poorly mishandled and broken by a moody postal worker

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