Zeke Herrera, staff
[A man wearing khaki shorts, a baseball hat, and a red polo shirt anxiously rings the doorbell at a large mansion. A woman answers wearing nothing but a robe]
Steve: Hi, I’m Steve. Are you Debra?
Debra: Yes, how can I help you?
Steve: I’m the prostitute you ordered.
Debra: Oh, please come in.
[Steve enters the building, the two are now sitting at the edge of the bed]
Steve: This is actually my first time selling my wiener.
Debra: I promise I’ll be gentle.
Steve: So how are you?
Debra: Enough small talk…
[Debra jumps on Steve like a raccoon falling in a dumpster. They have sex and are now lying naked across from each other]
Debra: You don’t have to stick around if you don’t want to.
Steve: I’ll take off but I’m going to need that money first.
Debra: Certainly. How much is it?
Debra: You didn’t do a lot of price matching, did you?
[Debra rifles through her purse]
Debra: I’m so sorry, I think I forgot to get out cash today.
Steve: Well I noticed you had some pizzas in the kitchen.
[Funky-ass 70’s music starts playing]
Steve: What kind do you have?
Debra: Pepperoni and sausage, Hawaiian…
[Debra’s words trail off as Steve rushes to the pizza, still naked. Debra quickly follows]
Debra: Do you want any condiments?
Steve: You know it, baby.
[Steve and Debra stand face to face, Debra’s head slowly sinks down out of frame and slowly comes back up with Parmesan cheese and crushed red pepper packets]
[Steve starts breathing heavily. He’s not pacing his eating well. Debra slaps herself in the face with her pizza, missing her mouth.]
[Debra gags on the crust; it’s a little stale. Steve licks the grease off the top of the pizza before going in on it.]
[Steve is red and sweaty; he probably added too many peppers. He lets out a loud grunt of relief: he’s full.]
[All the cheese and toppings fall off a slice and land on Debra’s chest. She’d normally be embarrassed but this time she just wipes it off and puts it in her mouth.]
Debra: Was it good for you?
Steve: Oh yeah.