#44 Most Eligible Bachelor

Emily Hobelmann, contributor

David Allan James MacCuish, 42, IT Consultant/Cuniculturist, Indianola/Bayside.

Dave raises rabbits — rabbits for meat — rabbits that you eat. That qualifies as “cuniculture.” Yum. He lives close to the land. He farms food, not weed, and FYI, his drake could use a flock of ladies. (A drake is a male duck.) Dave, unlike his drake, seeks one single lady. And he likes cats. Boom.
D-Mac is also a computer doctor, a healer. That means he’s smart, a shaman in the realm of technology. He manages both Eureka Farmers’ Markets and the Arcata Farmers’ market too. He uses words like “ilk.” A gentleman of many hats, he is. Boom.
He’s sooo Humboldt, ultra-Arcata. This guy is so Arcata that he’s actively involved with the Arcata-Camoapa Sister City Project. That’s Camoapa in Nicaragua. Dave’s been there. OMG. But S.H.I.T. found him in Arcata, sporting a Nicaraguan hat and a hand-stitched jacked from Little Shop of Hers. Pow.

SOBRIQUETS: Bunny Boy, Rabbit Ranger

LIFE PHILOSOPHY: Dave focuses on living well. His goal is to do more net good than bad.

DATING PHILOSOPHY: “We get to bring our joy to the table and to share happiness with someone else,” Dave says about dating. “In sharing happiness we get more happiness together.” Rainbows and sunshine, baby.

GROOMING PHILOSOPHY: Dave is “laissez-faire” about grooming. But really, he prefers unshaven gams because prickly re-growth hurts.

TWERKING PHILOSOPHY: “I’m not into it.”

TURN-ONS: A lady who can get her hands dirty; strong women who aren’t afraid to live life.

TURN-OFFS: Dave is turned off by women who are too politically correct. But Dave is also turned off by “isms” like racism and sexism. So PC is good, but too PC is not good. Capiche?

DIY DUDE: Dave does fiber work — spinning and felting, and he makes his own wine and ciders. He chops wood, he slaughters rabbits and he has chickens. He cures meat and he grows storage crops like onions and garlic. He is an urban homesteader to the max.

HIS DIET: “On any given day my diet is so local,” he says. “Half of it is even from my yard.”

SEXUAL SPIRIT ANIMAL: Human being.

SMARTY PANTS: Dave knows sciency things about solstices and equinoxes.

MELT-HIS-HEART WORDS: Something like, “Hey Rabbit Ranger, let me help you with your chores.” Help him clean manure and take a giant leap closer to winning his heart.

HOW YOU’LL KNOW HE’S INTO YOU: He’ll say “hello.” Dave is nothing if not direct.

DAVE DOESN’T GET ENOUGH: Potable water.

HIS BEST YO-YO TRICK: The McBride Roller coaster with embellishments.

MARY ANN VS. GINGER: “There’s Ginger-people and there’s Mary Ann-people. I’m a Mary Ann person,” Dave says. “Mary Ann was a good girl, but I bet she wasn’t a good girl in bed.” Translation: Dave wants a good woman with some spice. (Ginger and Mary Ann are old timey TV tarts.)

You can find Dave at the Farmer’s Markets, warding off ultra-PC hussies and tramps, jades and fornicatresses, and strumpets and ladies of the Plaza. He is the cat’s meow, the bee’s knees, and many are drawn to his old timey yet tech savvy vibe.
If you dare for a dalliance with Dave, sure, he might taste of your Venus’ honeypot, but only if you are a lady of his ilk — earthy-casual with your own unique flare.

 

 

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