Tiffany Greyson, contributor
So let’s just say you find yourself in a situation like this: You go out on a Friday night to hang out with some friends and you kind of like the one guy, “John,” and the two of you are really hitting it off, and after a few hours of talking, 12 mozzarella sticks, five vodka cranberries, and three shots of fireball you think he could be the one.
The night progresses and you end up at his place. As you walk in you find yourself covering one eye so you can get a good look at his house. You wonder what it would be like living there with him and your three cats (but you may have wondered that aloud, you’re not sure, you think you didn’t, but can’t remember… you probably didn’t.) You both sit down, you start to make out… then it happens. He takes you to his bedroom and you let him put his penis in you.
It’s the next morning. After throwing up for several hours, you know it’s probably time to go because he’s out of clean towels and he’s waiting at the door, rattling his keys, ready to drive you back to your car.
Here are a few simple ways to tell if he really liked you or if he just fucked you because that whore Jessica had already left.
- On the way back to your car, when he stopped at the pharmacy, did he buy you the “real” Plan B, or save $3.29 and buy you the generic Plan B?
- Did he pull over and make you take the generic Plan B right in front of him and wait to make sure you didn’t throw it up? And when you did throw it up did he yell at you?
- When he went back to the pharmacy for a second box, did he shut the door gently and lovingly, or did he slam the door so hard you peed yourself a little?
- When he brought you the second box of Plan B did he buy you the “real” version this time, and did he just toss it on your lap?
- When you arrived at your car but had to go back to his place because you left your coat with your keys at his house, did he answer you when you asked him repeatedly what was wrong?
- When you finally parted ways, did he ask if he could see your vagina again or was he mad when you told him that you had had your tubes tied?