A Real Downer

Drugs are like stealing your parent’s car. The more fun you have in the car, the more screwed you are when your parents get it back. You can get away with it a few times, but after a while the repercussions are not worth than the joy ride and you are stealing the car to get to work to pay for gas to steal the car. Man, I am super good at metaphors.

As addicted as I am to food, alcohol, social media and body lotion, I am really lucky that I’m not into drugs. The friends that they have destroyed went from regular people with regular parents and regular backgrounds to stinky dead-eyed monsters who have hurt their loved ones beyond belief.

Sometimes addiction happens after trauma and sometimes it’s the luck of the draw in your DNA. What if I had liked cocaine as much as I liked slathering myself with body lotion (which I truly do love)? I bet I would have moved on to different, harder drugs. For example, I started with Curel but now my fancy lotion costs $25 for 6 ounces. We can’t all be Chelsea Handler.

I’m a downer on drugs. This is a downer piece. Drugs are kinda dumb and they slowly take away the credibility of the person on them. Credibility is worth more than cash money as an adult. And by adult I mean a 35-year-old. No judgement on drugdoers in their 20s. Those are fun drug times.

Except for pot. Obviously you should smoke more pot.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

Talking Dog Conspiracy Theory

Ryan Allen, contributor A viral video entitled “You won’t believe this shit” has been catching …

2 comments

  1. I was scrolling through Facebook and ran across a Savage Henry article and had the ipifiney to look you guys up on the internet as I am a big fan of the magazine. You guys do great work. Thanks for all the smiles.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *