Are Astronauts Nerds?

Are astronauts nerds? I mean, duh, yeah, for the most part they are, but did any of them actually do anything cool?


John Glenn
Once he broke through Earth’s orbit he was quoted as saying, “Oh, hella tight, dude! Shit’s fucking so dope. It’s just like when I pull the blankets up over my head to bust a nut.”





Alan Shepard
On his 15-minute suborbital flight he was actually  frying balls on hella acid that his brother gave him from one of the CIA dudes. The whole time he just thought he was Captain Kirk constantly telling the dragon sitting next to him to “Beam him up.”





Neil Armstrong

He snorted all the Tang the second they landed on the moon.




Sally Ride
Not only was she the first American woman in space, but she was also the first astronaut to kick flip over Mars.


Jim Lovell
When he said, “Houston, we’ve had a problem,” he was actually referring to the fact that one of his Ray Ban lenses had fallen out because one of the other astronauts on board had punched him in the face for saying The Velvet Underground was overrated.






John Swigert
Punched Jim Lovell in the face for making an incredibly valid point but did it like a “square”.

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