Ben Allen

Ben is a guy that likes music.

Album Review: Chester’s barnacle “Fear of a big Hat”

Chester’s Barnacle exploded onto the scene in 2003 with their sizzling debut “Sniff My Kilt.” Hearing traditional Irish instruments such as bagpipes, violins and flutes played by four Hispanic men from Boise was a completely new idea. The songs reflected a love for a land and a different era. The passion behind lyrics in songs such as “My Pot O’ …

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Ben’s 10 Volume XXXVIII: Popular Musicians and Their Daddy Issues

Jessica Simpson The following is a direct quote by Joe, Jessica’s dad. “Jessica never tries to be sexy, she just is sexy. If you put her in a t-shirt or you put her in a bustiere, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” Mackenzie Phillips Starting from the times she was nineteen, Mackenzie has …

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Ben’s 10 Volume XXXVII: A Lesson in Extreme Metal

Heavy metal has never seen a more extreme time than the early 1990s. A whole scene emerged out of Scandinavia and became notorious due to rampant satanism, anti-Christianity sentiments, church burnings and homicides. There was even a vocalist from a band called Mayhem who killed himself, leaving a note that read “excuse all the blood.” In a type of self-fulfilling …

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Buns n’ Hoses

The New Incarnation of Guns n’ Roses  We received some shocking news today in the music world. Axl Rose has come out of the closet and decided to rename his band “Buns n’ Hoses.” In a statement obtained by our staff, Axl said, “my lyrical content and song titles will now reflect my new lifestyle. I feel my art is …

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Hunting Manilapede: An Obsession & Strange Conversation

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Lou Reed, Michael Gira and Captain Beefheart got drunk on port and did some improvising? Well, you probably haven’t, but it’s the type of thing I think about all the time. Luckily, I was introduced to local band Manilapede. Information regarding their origins and musicians are shrouded in mystery. I made phone …

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Ben’s 10 Volume XXXVI: The Technological Visions of Kraftwerk

Back in the late 1970s and early ‘80s, influential German electronic musicians Kraftwerk shared their visions of the future. Ralf Hutter and Florian Schneider started the band as a progressive rock group, but quickly became interested in evolving musical technology.  Their songs consisted of lyrical content spoken through a vocoder or computer speech software accompanied by minimalistic electronic percussion and …

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Food Review: The Flavors of Purina Fancy Feast Cat Food

I’m assuming I was volunteered for the task of sampling and reviewing cat food for several reasons. First off, I’m a large man and enjoy eating pretty much anything. There’s also the fact that this is the “Fancy” issue and there happens to be a brand of gourmet feline cuisine with that name. I also enjoy stroking a pussy and …

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Ben’s 10 Volume XXXV: The Fanciest Outfits of Liberace

Believe it or not, the famous showman known as Liberace was the highest paid entertainer during the 1950’s up until the 1970’s. When he wasn’t busy singing, playing piano and acting in terrible television specials, the man had a sense of fashion that could only be described as “flamboyant.” Some of these costumes look like something Elton John would have worn in …

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Ben’s Ten: Volume V: Albums to Listen to While Stoned

Although I no longer indulge in “the grass,” I feel I can offer some musical suggestions based on conversations I’ve had with a number of “users” and past experiences. Not surprisingly, mellow, atmospheric recordings seem pleasing to those who’ve recently smoked. I also found instrumental compositions and strange, experimental music seemed popular among the marijuana enthusiast. This is by no …

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Arcade Fire ~ The Suburb

Arcade Fire is what you might consider a “rated” band. While most albums and bands are either overrated or underrated, Arcade Fire manages to consistently be rated correctly. Most critics swoon over the band, heaping on praise. This is appropriate, as Arcade Fire has invariably released some of the most powerful and innovative music of the decade. “The Suburbs”, released …

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