Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He has held roughly 100 jobs through his employment career, from a driving range ball picker upper to a door to door film salesman. He started his first magazine, Mean Spirited Willie, in Sacramento around 1997. Since then he has been the publisher of Slow Kids Playing, First Draft, Notes From an American Nobody, Fat Llama Spit and Short Bus Magazine. Durant and co-founder Sarah Godlin created Savage Henry after he was shoved aside as the editor of his local daily newspaper’s entertainment magazine. In the early meetings Durant's wife, Monica, and another writer for Northern Lights, Josh Duke, laid down the groundwork for what the magazine has evolved into. Durant writes, edits, sells ads, manages ad clients and delivers the magazine as well as books stand-up comedians for Savage Henry's monthly comedy shows and its annual Savage Henry Magazine Comedy Festival (formerly SHITS and Giggles Comedy Festival). He also co-produces and co-hosts the magazine's weekly podcast, the Savage Henry Magazine Radio Program. He lives in McKinleyville, California with his wife, three of his children, two dogs, two cats and his Playstation 3.

Chasing the Drive Thru

There is no telling how many accidents I almost got into … how many pedestrians I almost killed … how many traffic tickets I could have rightfully received chasing one thing: The drive-thru before 10:30 a.m. If, on the rare occasion I was up before 11 a.m., I was on one mission before I could greet the rest of my day: …

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Paul Danke – Dank

To say this is not a music review is a disservice because Paul Danke’s jokes are music to my ears. Danke released his semi self-titled debut comedy record Dank on A Special Thing records this month and his freewheelin’, off the cuff style makes it feel like you’re hanging out with a friend on a road trip. No, not that …

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Other Uses for the Boxed Wine Bags

When you’re all done draining every delicious drop of merlot from your Peter Vella or Franzia box, don’t fret; your fun with the box is not over. Rip open the box like a 8-year-old on Christmas day and behold the wonderment of what’s inside: a clear plastic bag or a silvery mylar bag will appear all crumpled and useless, but …

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Lost Bukowski Poems

One of the most famous winos of all time, poet and writer Charles Bukowski, wasn’t shy about his drinking, gambling or skirt chasing. Many a poem and short story discuss his adventures while drunk, most of the time on wine. We found in our archives an old Peter Vella box containing Bukowski’s lost poems; the ones he wrote shortly before …

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Top 10 Ways Trimmers will spend their money

Trimmers make money — not as much as they used to, and they don’t always get paid on time — but they still make money. Below are the results of a 4-year study into the Northern California and Oregon economies as they relate to trimmers. It sheds light on exactly what the trimmers are spending their money on. 10 – …

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Animals That Would Make Good/Bad Trimmers

The title says it all, so let’s skip the dumb intro and get right to the dumb story: Good Trimmers Tyrannosaurus Rexes Short arms allow for maximum efficiency, though he would take up a lot of room in the cabin. Beavers Have you seen what they can do to whole trees? Kangaroos Again, shorter nimble arms, but they’d probably let …

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Michael Jordan’s sure bets of the 90s

Hi, I’m world famous basketball player Michael Jordan. I make a lot of money, so much money I don’t know what to do with it all. So I picked up a pretty nasty gambling habit that may or may not have lead to my first, early and abrupt retirement. I’d like to share some sure bets to help your wallets …

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The Mystery of the Family Jewels

Chris Durant and Zeke Herrera, Staff The door swings open and grandma is standing right there. She’s angry, no doubt, but you can’t figure out why… You were just polishing the family jewels. “Stop! You’re not using any polish? You’re dry-rubbing it? That’s going to damage the family jewels!” You immediately stop, feeling embarrassed. No one ever told you how …

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Other Ways the Delorean Was Used

Movies are supposed to be about two hours long. And even though the Back to the Future franchise had 3 installments they just didn’t have enough time to show you all the other ways the Delorean was used. Lucky for you, I know! October 19th, 1985: Doc Brown goes back to October 1st, 1985 to pay his cable bill so …

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