Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He's the publisher of Savage Henry Magazine.

Trump Changes the Names of the Planets

Dear NASA, Hey nerds…what’s up? Guess who won? Me, that’s right. It’s good. It’s great. Since I’m now Emper…I mean President, I’m gonna save NASA money by renaming all the planets in the only solar system that exists. So take notes you dweebs, if there’s one thing you dorks can do is take notes, believe me. First, the Milky Way …

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Tattoo Orders Things

Do you guys remember Tattoo from the hit 80’s television program Fantasy Island? Well, we do, and here are some transcripts of his common daily interactions.   Bagel Store Clerk: Hello Mr. Tattoo, welcome to Fantasy Island Bagels, what kind of bagel can I get started for you? Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane! Clerk: Would you like cream cheese, or …

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If We Never Landed on the Moon

Zeke Herrera and Chris Durant, staff We hear a lot of talk about Neil Aldrin punching out some guy who was all yelling at him about the Moon Landing being fake and shot by Francis Ford Coppola on the set of Star Wars or something. Well that ne’er-do-well is a really piece of shit, and stupid to boot, ‘cause if …

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Restaurant Review – Pizza My Heart, Santa Cruz

You know those days when you drink on the beach all day, check out a theme park and then bounce around a new city going from dispensary to dispensary? And then you’re all like, dang, I can really stand to eat. If you’re in Santa Cruz, and near a Pizza My Heart, this is the place for you. Large slices, …

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Dum Dum Suckers

Banks get a bad rap. Sure, some bankers have taken advantage of the poor and stolen from their customers, but generally speaking, banks ain’t so bad. Perfect example: free Dum Dum suckers at the clerk windows. Just right there, free, all the flavors of Dum Dum suckers for you to sample.  It’s a perfect example how banks respect their customers. Touching …

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Comedy Juggernaut – The Zeke Herrera Interview

He’s only been at it three years, but you’d be hard pressed to find a comedian who works harder than Zeke Herrera. The Humboldt native is now living in Denver and is telling jokes, running shows, and slanging mags. Not only is he a stand up comedian, he is also the Denver bureau chief for Savage Henry Magazine. We recently …

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Sam the Butcher’s Favorite Cuts of Meat

Hi. When Alice comes into my shop to buy the meat for that Brady family, who work her like a damn Filipino I saw in those sweatshops when I was liberatin’ Manila back in the old WWII, I want her to get the best cuts of meat. I mean, if I can be frank…Ha! I’m not Frank…I’m Sam! But seriously, …

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The Rules of Craps

Craps is one of the games with the best odds for the players. But it’s really damn confusing with “pass” and “come” and “the horn” and numbers everywhere… what does it all mean? Well, I’m here to simplify it and hopefully keep you from your money down on junk bets. My dad would tell me “That’s how they build casinos,” …

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THC-Span

Chris Durant and Zeke Herrera, staff It was only a matter of time with legalization and medicinal marijuana becoming available in more states that there would be a basic cable channel totally devoted to pot coverage. Low and behold THC-Span, and their debut schedule. 8 a.m. – 10 a.m.: Steve Makes Breakfast. What’s for breakfast? Ask Steve! 10-ish to noon: …

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Hillbilly Translations

Hillbillies, rednecks and yokels all have a colorful way of speaking that lends them the charm we all recognize as one of their most popular traits. Think Andy Taylor or David Duke. Down homesy sayings that sound quaint as fuck, but you can never figure out what they really mean. Well, I’m fluent in hillbilly, so let me translate a …

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