Zack Newkirk

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Ahhh! Oh, Geez — My Neck

Gosh darn. Oh, man. My neck. My neck hurts so bad. No… no, I woke up with it like this. I’m telling you, I woke up with it like this. I dunno. I mean, I lifted that thing yesterday. Yes, already, I lifted with my legs. aughhhhhhhh. Owww! Holy cow. My neck! I can’t even turn my head, man. Not …

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NFL ‘13 Season Betting Primer

What’s more fun than American football? Betting on American football! Here are some of my choices in Harrah’s book for various side and prop bets for the upcoming season. I’m an expert, so these picks are LAYUPS, people. Take these to the bank. (All official Vegas odds as of 9/4/13.) Aaron Hernandez will be asked to sing the National Anthem …

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More Hollywood Rumors: Sports Edition

My spies are everywhere — but this time of year they take their ears off the ground at the Walk of Fame and plant them on the sports field turf! Watch out for cleats, spies! (My spies don’t have health insurance, and they won’t ever, thanks to Obamacare.) Locker room scuttlebutt has it that Tiger Woods is an exceptional lover — …

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Ask Karl

By Karl Marx Edited by Zack Newkirk Karl Marx, the revolutionary communist thinker, owner of the theory of historical materialism, and general critic of the idea of a predetermined moral ideal, has a lot to say on a lot of subjects: on class, on modes of production, on human nature, and more. So we thought it’d be a gas if …

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Part 2 of Chapter 9 of The Sagittarius Codex

If you’re a regular reader of Savage Henry, you’ll know that we’ve been serially publishing Zack Newkirk’s latest novel, The Sagittarius Codex, for over a year. This week, the second half of chapter 9. — Editor  That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. The ton of bricks slammed to the ground, pinning my leg underneath. “Aughhhh!” I …

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Drinks! And the water they’re made from

All beverages have one thing in common with each other: they’re made mostly out of water. Water is a big part of our bodies, and it’s an even bigger part of our drinks. Like beer brand Olympia’s slogan says, “It’s the water!” Water. Water. WATER. Water water water water. But where do all the drinkmakers get their water? Surely they …

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Real-life Sports Figures with names That sound like Star Wars Characters

Star Wars was a great movie. The action, the thrills. And, my gosh: The romance! But did you know that there are many professional athletes in our actual real world whose names SOUND like those of Star Wars characters? This isn’t a joke. Behold: Tuukka Rask, NHL goaltender, Boston Bruins Greivis Vasquez, NBA point guard, New Orleans Pelicans Shawn “Grand …

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PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Ad space sold by Zack Newkirk  Christianmingle.com, Jdate.com, Cougarlife.com, FarmersOnly.com and Blackpeoplemeet.com — these exclusionary sites have all revolutionized the internet dating industry, allowing a person to choose from singles from his or her own select group of people. But where are all the good white singles in your community? Maybe it’s time you took a look at Meetwhitesonly.com. Meetwhitesonly.com …

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Kooking Korner: xTREME Cuisine

“If it’s something that can be misspelled with a K, I’ll write about it!”  We’ve all experienced it before: you cook up Bresse chicken-liver terrine or a powerhouse take on coq au vin, and your guests yawn at the results. Let me tell you: It can be downright maddening. But it may just be that you haven’t gotten XTREME enough …

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