Josh Argyle

Josh Argyle is a Stand-up comedian and writer. He is the San Francisco bureau chief of Savage Henry Independent Times and contributing writer. He is a co-producer of the S.H.I.Ts and giggles comedy festival in Arcata California. You can check out Joshs website josh-argyle.com for videos and show dates. Are you still reading this? Jesus we are in a recession, go out and invent some shit.

Savage Henry’s Passive Aggressive Driving Tips

Are you an angry person? Do people infuriate you? Are you too afraid of what people will think to be actually aggressive? Don’t worry, there is a way of being a complete and utter asshole without dealing with the consequences. A way that will leave people saying, “I think you’re an asshole but I’m not 100% sure.” After talking to …

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Meth: It’s Ambien, but in Reverse

Ah sleep, nature’s unemployment line. You could get so much done if it wasn’t for sleep. Why haven’t you been promoted at work? Why have you not finished your great American novel? Why did your wife/husband leave you? SLEEP! You didn’t have enough time because your body gets “tired.” Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy that …

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Welcome to Storm Trooper Troop ST34521

Josh Argyle, staff *(Best read with a thick New Jersey Accent) Congratulations, you have chosen to join the most integral part of the Galactic Empire and their efforts for galaxy domination. As your elected union representative, let me take this time to lay out some frequently asked concerns and requirements as it pertains to ST34521. Blasters and aiming: We are …

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When Is It the Right Time to Play Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler?”

We live in a complicated world. Wars, droughts, crime, and adorable, yet deadly bear attacks. The last thing you need is to not know the appropriate time to play “The Gambler.” Well, lucky for you we compiled a guide to help you with just that. Making sweet love: Of course play “The Gambler,” stupid!  Jesus Christ, if this is even …

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Inside the Mind of a Yearbook Photographer

All right, another year, another class picture. Let’s get this over with. Oh, good; they are taking the picture in the gym — nothing says good luck, class of 2015, like a championship banner from 1977 and a principal with a blood alcohol content higher than the class GPA. I’m gonna try to frame this picture where there is not …

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5 Reasons Why Your Mohawk Is the Worst

#5 . It makes you look like a unicorn with a troubled past. No unicorns have safety pins in their ears. Also no unicorns were kicked out of their stepdad’s house for selling oxycontin. #4 . YOU DON’T HAVE A BADASS JOB!  You are the assistant night manager at Bennigan’s. That is the least punk you can get. You are …

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Dino Hospital and Other Extinct FOX Shows

The year was 1991 and ABC’s Prehistoric sitcom Dinosaurs was taking America by storm.  Not to be outdone, the FOX network ordered research into this dinosaur television phenomenon.  The following is a list of unaired and canceled dinosaur-themed shows on FOX from 1991-1995. Ty Rexinton: Dinosaur Attorney This show only lasted three episodes before cancellation when it became clear that …

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Terrible Things Said by Terrible People at Funerals

“Listen, nobody loved Ernie as much as me but he knew the risks and he played it too fast and loose… He was a magician after all.” “REALLY!? You gotta be kidding me? He was killed by a flower pot dropping on his head? Was he shooting a Three Stooges short?!” “I know, like, Stacy is like, dead or whatever, …

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Glengarry Glen Rossi: A Tale of Failed Marketing

Before we at Savage Henry had our vineyard repossessed by the IRS. (Apparently comedy magazines are not tax exempt and cannot be claimed as churches) We were in the beginning stages of a nationwide wine ad campaign. Here are the cream of the crop off wine slogans… well, at least the ones that don’t feature explicit sexual imagery or compromising …

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Training Camp Memories with 90’s Quarterback Icon Brett Favre

“I remember this one time we were in TJ — that’s Tijuana for those of you who espanol. so any way me and… shit, I hate to use names. For an anonymity’s sake let’s just say me and Donald D — hell, that’s too obvious… me and D. Driver… aww, damn it… anyway, me and Donald Driver were in Mexico …

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