Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Why England Is a Shell of Its Former Glory

Sarah Godlin, staff Californians spread a quarter of an avocado on sourdough bread. Oregonians cut a circle out of wheat toast with a cup and fry an egg inside. Washingtonians sprinkle capers over their smoked salmon bagel. Marylanders fill omelettes with potatoes and scrapple. Texans eat chorizo burritos. These all seem pretty sane. (Except for the scrapple. That shit’s disgusting.) …

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Steak for Breakfast: A Restaurant Review of AA Bar and Grill

A certain type of person takes a government office job; the kind that won’t put a bullet through their head after a day of filling out forms and answering the questions of clueless people who stream in non stop saying things like, “My taxes pay your salary,” and, “Your job is to put Obama’s red tape on the roll and …

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Dinosorta

Some things are almost dinosaurs. They are Dinosaurish. Dinosauresque. Here is a stupid list of these things since, from internet data, we know you people like lists. Chickens Did you know that there is a sack full of rocks inside of every chicken? That is the only thing I learned in high school Ag class. Old Smokers Every cigarette you …

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Destruction Therapy

In a way that I hide now, I really, really like when things go boom. Smashy loud fireballs still get me all excited and hand clappy like a 2-year-old. Super American style. Once a friend’s treadmill fell out of the back of his truck on the freeway and I actually shed a tear because I didn’t see it. Man, that …

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History of the Norwegian Black Metal Scene

Scandinavia, in full, was planned as an acre of Disneyland adjacent to Frontierland but due to a misread blueprint it was placed much further North where Walt Disney failed to retain power over its goings-on. Luckily, most of the employees remained cute and rosy-cheeked, painting birds on things and braiding their hair in that adorable way after getting out of …

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Hurricane Jeffrey: a Disappointment to Everyone

Samantha Gilweit, contributor He was supposed to be big. He was supposed to be destructive. He was supposed to be the storm of the century. But to everyone’s surprise and chagrin, Jeffrey made landfall as a tepid category one hurricane. “Look, I knew Jeff as a tropical storm off the coast of Panama. We all had big hopes. He had …

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White Lady Hour

I fit the criteria for Wine Drinker: I’m a white lady. I’m not going to lie, I drink a shit-ton of Bota Box wine with Refreshe seltzer water. It is “my jam,” as the kids are saying these days. I can hardly make out their little squeaky voices because I am profoundly White Lady drunk. White ladies who are drunk …

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WHICH TRIM SCISSORS TO THEY PREFER?

Draw a line from the trimmer to the clippers they use to manicure the weed. Answers below Chickamasa Fiskars Dakota Fanning Ian Ziering Quato Wallace Shawn Gayle Chairry Sadamir Putin Old Gregg Matt Damon

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Restaurant Review:TAQUERIA LA BARCA

5201 Carlson Park Dr., Suite #4 Arcata, CA The Norther you go (Fine. More North. Happy?) the crappier Mexican food gets. You know what passes for Mexican Food in Canada? Half of a hamburger patty in a flour tortilla with ketchup. Did you know ketchup tastes different in Canada? It does. But let’s stay on topic. California is tall. It …

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What You REALLY Do With a Drunken Sailor

If you meet a sailor and you are not on a boat, chances are that he is drunk. What? How do I know he is a he? Because lady sailors are called “sailorettes” and everyone knows that. Please stop interrupting. Do not attempt to shave his belly with a rusty razor. This is so beyond dumb and very freaking dangerous …

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