Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Top 10 ways to Choose to Die

10) Shark 9) Smothered by sub sandwich 8) Smothered by twin Swedish makers of sub sandwich 7) Monster Truck Accident 6) Any blaze of glory larger than 4 yards in diameter\ 5) Space Madness 4) WWF chokehold gone wrong 3) Saving people from a burning building 2) Saving kittens from a burning building 1) Getting drunk with your bear buddy …

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The History of Savage Henry Magazine

Founded as a anti-slavery pamphlet in 1834, Savage Henry Magazine has been through the evolutionary wringer to come out in its current form and, incidentally, with an immunity to syphilis. The pamphlet’s Co-publisher, Rosa B. Savage, a bespectacled abolitionist and butter enthusiast, penned the first story, “Our Colored Sisters and Brothers Deserve Freedom Under God.” Her partner and editor, Thomas …

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Awesome Shit Thrown in the Lame Drawer Undeservedly

Popular opinion is a powerful thing. It might rank right behind ice, gravity, and money on the big power list in the sky. It gets shit done most of the time but it can go SO wrong… sowrong… sarang… Like men wearing sarongs. Popular opinion said this was ok for a while in the 90s. See what I mean? (This …

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What’s Worse than Snakes on a Plane? TSS on a Bus.

When you’re in high school, your brain isn’t done. It’s still cooking. You get so excited about being on a snowboard trip in Wyoming with your Ski Club that you forget a personal hygiene product has been inside you for two and a half too many days. If you are up to date on your tampon box literature than you …

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Travel Top Tens

Top Ten Worst Ways to Travel 10) Walking barefoot 9) Walking unbarefoot 8) Small girl’s bicycle 7) Rickshaw behind cat 6) Poop train 5) Tornado 4) Naked somersaulting 3) Swimming with a bathrobe on 2) Barf train 1) This:   Top Ten Best Ways to Travel 10) Pogo ball 9) Comped 1st class 8) Rickshaw behind giant talented whistler who …

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I understand why people beat their children: Somewhat of a restaurant review

The title is misleading. I do not, nor ever would, beat my children. I just want to yell obscenities at them from across the dinner table when they don’t eat their food. These two kids are the tiniest, ribbiest most seethrough of all short people and it’s partly because they are extremely finicky eaters. “The tortilla has a brown spot.” …

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WoW, Sarah, really?

I have brushed with World of Warcraft. Like the way the side of a big-rig brushes with the wall of an underpass and the driver gets fired and all of his future wages are legally garnished to pay for the damages. At my lowest point I sat outside on a summer day, an extension cord running to my laptop, with …

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To Frame or Not To Frame

Kids come home with all kinds of crap from school. Lice, ideas about ugly-ass shoes being cool, smelly friends, and classroom art. 03% of this “art” is awesome and should be framed. The rest will be placed on your refrigerator anyway until you splash lentil soup on it “on accident” and it goes into the trashcan. Here are some examples …

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The History of the Puppy Calendar

The first calendar to feature puppies appeared on this earth in 1904. It was actually a to-do list for a Thursday painted on a young cocker spaniel as a joke by 12-year-old Bradley Knickens. Knickens’ sense of humor and ability to drink water from a regular glass had been impaired by a kick from his father’s gelding, Topper, a boy-horse …

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