Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Sigmund Schlomo Freud The father of modern Psychology

Sigmund Freud’s middle name and nickname through elementary school was Schlomo. It was a tradition on his fathers side and one his father absolutely insisted upon. The tauntings and bullying and one particular incident where “SCHLOMO IS A HOMO” was sharpied on his forehead led to young Sigmund’s deep hatred and murderous feelings for his father who really was a …

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Makin’ Dads

I made two people fathers. My own, being a first child, and another one for whom I bore a couple of children. For the hours preceding this gross miracle these two men were together at the Mexican restaurant down the road drinking Tequila. I only hold it against the guy whose child was coming out of me because it seems like that’s …

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A practical guide to: Shrimp Cocktail Substitutes

What do you call a half a dozen shrimp in a teetery thin glass with a spoonful of red sauce and and a lemon wedge? 11 bucks, usually. What do you call it when you replace those shrimp with legos? That’s art. Or a lawsuit. But an artistic one. And the lemon wedge with a pair of Jessica Simpson brand …

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Extreme Pet Owning

I snowboarded in Highschool and derbied while derby was young and for a sec in the early 2000s I was even a sponsored skateboarder. What an asshole I am! It had to do with having a low center of gravity and being kinda dumb. Now I’m older and nervous about breaking myself and so in the place of sport I …

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Album Review: YG “Just Re’d up 2”

Occasionally a CD gets left in the vehicle your grandmother willed you when she died and laziness dictates that it stay there, in the CD player, for months. My grandma was a tape lady. Mostly Judy Garland. This CD wasn’t from her..it came from a friend on a road trip and it was all “Nigga, Nigga, Nigga, Nigga, Pussy,Pussy, Bitches.” And I was all …

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Alternatives to Lava Kayaking

There is a shit-you- not thing called Lava Kayaking where people who hate themselves and want to die kayak through water dripping with lava flows. They are hoping to melt their paddles and turn their arms into stubs. While Kayaking through boiling rock IS a great way to turn your arms into stubs or kill yourself if you hate yourself, erupting volcanoes are sometimes hard to get to. Here are …

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Rule the Science Fair

If you can cut a large piece of cardboard twice and tape it back together YOU TOO can be a scientist! Enter your taped cardboard in a Science Fair (siy-unts-fare) and get a big ass ribbon to stick on your wall to cover the fist hole. Here’s how: Pick something you care about, like *pickles *money *earthworms *your mom’s friend …

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Statistically Speaking

Statistics is the most fun branch of the formal sciences. If it was a real branch it would be about 3-feet off the ground, cut off 8 inches from the tree and covered in a lubed condom. Oh my Jesus…..this is what writing is like after half of a bottle of Pino Greej. That’s what my girlfriends and I call …

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The History of Dressing Up Cats Like Little Gentlemen

You’d think that an animal with such a highly visible butthole would be more modest, but cats are the snootiest of animals. People have been exaggerating the kitty cat’s uppityness with clothing and mustaches from time immemorial. There are cave paintings in Africa of lions and tigers sporting dandy little pinstriped pants and monocles even before the invention of the …

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