Savage Henry

2018’s Newest Monthly Subscription Boxes

We’ve all seen them…Loot Crate, Blue Apron and others that sponsor some podcast we really don’t care to remember. We recently attended Box Con and got the scoop on the new subscription delivery services hitting a mailbox near you soon. Box o’ Boxes – A box full of different sizes boxes for your monthly boxing needs Trump Trunk – Every month you receive a …

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Capes Are the Future We Need and Deserve

Adam Jacobs, contributor Why don’t more people wear capes? Royals have it down. Get yourself a nice, fancy cape and you’ll never be cold or unfashionable. And imagine vaping in a cape! Oh boy! Believe me, you want to vape in a cape. I’m tired of these pesky sleeves always getting in my way. I’m here to put my allegiance …

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This SHITs for Reels – Chilly Edition

Mike Sargent, staff Charles Bronson saves a loser dog from its killer owner, so the owner’s gang initiates and loses a gunfight with Bronson. Subsequently Bronson becomes the quarry in a Death Hunt (1981) through the frozen north, pursued by bounty hunters and Canadian Mounted Lee Marvin. Three days from anywhere is a Gold Rush (1925), where Charlie Chaplin tramps …

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Polar Myths De-Myth-tified

Dr. Foxmeat, contributor Here are just a few things you probably didn’t know about these frozen extremities of our mother Gaia: 1) The Poles Aren’t ACTUAL Poles This should come as no surprise to anyone who’s ever thought for a fucking second about it. For starters, it’s WAY too cold at the actual poles to support a healthy post hole. …

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Top 5 Things I Thought Were Illegal

Alyssa Cowan, contributor In today’s complex world of rules, it’s hard to tell what’s okay to do and what isn’t. For many laws, it’s still impossible to know! In the interest of commiserating, and letting you know that it’s okay to still be confused, I’ve put together a list of things I thought were illegal, but aren’t. Christians Reading Porn …

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Make Marijuana Illegal Again

Andrew Holmgren, contributor On November 8th 2016 is a day that will go down in history as a very dark day in American history. That was the day that California voted to legalize weed. I enjoy smoking weed, you could call me a weedsman, I’ve been like this for many years. But when I woke up on the morning of …

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Illegal Athletes

Sean Green, contributor We all love professional athletes but sometimes their most memorable work comes off the field. No I’m not talking about court mandated charity work or cameos in Adam Sandler movies I’m talking about crimes. These three athletes live by the mantra “go big or go home” especially when it comes to breaking the law. Everyone is very …

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This SHITs for Reels – The Mall Edition

Michel Sargent, Movieish Title The sequel to Clerks (1994) is a bottom of the barrel dick/butt/boob joke-filled buddy movie about a bunch of Mallrats (1995) “with no shopping agenda” causing havoc while disrupting a game show taking place near the food court. It’s romantic too. Atmospheric music and violent post-prison ex-boyfriend’s shopping cart P.O.V. shots instill dread as a supermarket …

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R.I.P. Illegal Weed

Billy Wayne Davis, contributor Illegal Cannabis in California passed away on the evening of November 8th, 2016, but not without a fight. Growers, trimmers, smugglers, dealers, and pigfucking politicians alike fought hard to keep you illegal as horse fucking. But the sweet, sweet allure of death’s peaceful elixir was too much, and with that the naughty gatherings, secret grow rooms, …

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The Worst Song in Human History: Shopping from A to Z

Keith Bergman, contributor In 1982, choreographer-turned-singer Toni Basil was riding high on the success of “Mickey,” a gigantic worldwide pop hit and a genuinely great piece of bubblegum songwriting. Eager to strike while the iron was hot, her label released another single from her “Word of Mouth” album. Though it sported a cover of the David Essex hit “Rock On” …

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