Savage Henry

Troopers Demand Blaster Training

Sam Greenspan, contributor After what seemed to be an unflappable plan executed by Emperor Palpatine and carried out by Darth Vader (Dark Lord of the Sith, pod racing champion, and murderer of younglings) to destroy the rebel uprising, the Death Star managed, against all securities and planning measures, to be blown up due to a small exhaust port on the …

Read More »

Things Star Wars Taught Me

Tiffany Greysen, contributor Star Wars taught me I had shitty parents. My parents never took me anywhere and we never did anything fun. There was only one movie that my parents ever took me to see, and that was Return of the Jedi, and only because an uncle was in town to visit. They talked about that movie for years, …

Read More »

Star Wars Plot Recapped by People Who Haven’t Seen Star Wars

Mark Manning, contributor Despite record-breaking advanced ticket sales, Star Wars moviegoers are nervous they’ve forgotten key details of the original trilogy, making The Force Awakens as unwatchable as a Jar Jar Binks romcom. Or worse yet, maybe their parents mind-tricked them into thinking sci-fi wasn’t the entertainment they were looking for and they’re worried they’ll be that audience member asking …

Read More »

The Other Missile Crisis

William Toblerone, contributor Like a lot of other old former children, I was fascinated with Boba Fett the bounty hunter. I didn’t really know what bounty meant back then, so I went around slashing at paper towels with a pocket knife. “Absorb this!” I would shout. I had it in my head that if I hunted down enough Bounty, I …

Read More »

Reefiew Madness!

Scott M., contributor Hello everyone! I’m gonna go by Scott M. for the this new cannabis product review column for Savage Henry cause… weed, you know? I do a lot of weed. I smoke it, vape it, eat it, dab it, rub it, drink it… I’ll even put it in my butt. Enough about me, onto the first installment of …

Read More »

Hinds – Leave Me Alone

Cee Cee Hill, contributor I’ll start with a disclaimer. I don’t like Adele’s new song “Hello.” That means my musical tastes are absolutely screwy compared to millions of people out there. So don’t be surprised if I find Hinds’ music exciting, fresh and cool. Hinds play surf garage lo-fi music. Their songs have catchy riffs, cool harmonies, and a lot …

Read More »

White Fang – Chunks

Tommy Lucero, contributor White Fang is what I believe to be a breath of fresh bong smoke in a world of stale, backyard boogie breath. Lyrics like, “I hit the weed and then I passed it,” makes me feel there is somebody writing music I can finally relate to. The Fang’s sound harkens back to a simpler time, when happy hours …

Read More »

Deerhoof – Fever 121614

Samantha Gilweit, contributor Deerhoof is a band that doesn’t give a FUCK what you think about them. They didn’t give a fuck in the mid-90’s when they first formed and went on stage wearing bear suits, destroying instruments and they definitely don’t give a fuck now with the long awaited release of the masterful and fantastically chaotic live album, Fever …

Read More »

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Hell EP

Sam Greenspan, contributor This all-too-brief and incredibly bracing shot of audible absinthe from The Pains of Being Pure at Heart successfully accomplishes what most musicians could only hope to have their EPs do: leave you wanting more and more. The first song and title track is replete with nods to their influences from Prince’s seemingly effortless hooks, with a poetic …

Read More »