Savage Henry

This SHIT’s for Reels – Dream Edition

Mike Sargent, staff If you research “Sleep. Those little slices of death. How I loathe them. – Edgar Allan Poe” the earliest actual source for that quote is Nightmare On Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors (1987), and for the record, Poe probably never actually said that. Newly back from the dead again, Freddy is suicide-inducing teens with bad jokes, claymation, …

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The Shrike – The Shrike

Sam Greenspan, contributor The self titled record for Portland rock quartet The Shrike has all of the elements of a great rock album. The very first song “The Return,” is a thundering, teeth-gnashing ballad that feels like it should be played at a viking funeral. However, what this band boasts in technical mastery and a clear understanding of the fundamentals …

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Got Your Number

William Toblerone, contributor Owning a Sleep Number mattress can be extremely confusing for the first few weeks as you struggle to determine which setting is right for you. Luckily, you can reference this handy guide to get the most from your stupidly extravagant rich asshole bed. Sleep Number 1: You’ve been exceptionally cordial to everyone for your entire life, but …

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RJD2 – Dame Fortune

Andrea Bartunek, contributor Let me start by saying that I love RJD2, so I was really excited to be able to listen to the new album, Dame Fortune. Unfortunately, I only half loved it. It’s as if Skrillex stopped by for pancakes during a brunch with your parents. Dame Fortune has a wide range of musical genres from soul to …

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Cian Nugent – Night Fiction

Sam Greenspan, contributor I’m conflicted as I write this review. I’m torn between my sense of dutiful critique that I owe you, and my sense of personal malaise. If I’m being an impartial, in Night Fiction, Cian Nugent has constructed an album that, at it’s root, makes sense. Hooky and uptempo folk-pop rock balladeering on songs such as “Lost Your …

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10 Best Things To Sleep with After a Break Up

Samantha Gilweit, contributor So you’re single again. And the shittiest part about being single again is sleeping by yourself. And while they could never fully replace your former significant other, here are Savage Henry’s Top Ten replacements for a human body so you’ll feel less alone: 1)   Pillow Pros: Inexpensive, readily available, inanimate so no worries about being considered too …

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The Savage Henry Trump Interview

Seth Milstein, contributor Recently I accepted a position as a staff writer for a small independent arts magazine in the pacific northwest. The name of the publication is irrelevant as it is now defunct. However, during my time there I got to write a few record reviews and a couple of editorials. My writing was edited for grammatical and punctuation …

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Bo-wie Didn’t

Did you intentionally mean to embarrass and make contributor Cee Cee Hill (David Bowie-Blackstar review) look like an ass who is writing about a musician she obviously knows nothing about?! She wrote that Bowie is best known for his cover of the Nirvana song “The Man Who Sold the World.” Ummmm no. Bowie released the song in 1970 and I …

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The Worst Relationship I Ever Had

Josh Barnes, contributor How did we get to this point? I mean we were practically inseparable. Truth be told I love you, I love you more than I actually hate you. Sometimes I reminisce on how close we were, the things we use to do, you know the good ole days when we were young and dumb together. Like in …

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