Savage Henry

Album Review: TUMBLES-215 “Growing Pains”

Tim Stiles, contributor   As a past Arcata/Humboldt resident, I have a lot of respect for the growers, culture, etc. Hell, I’m writing a review for SH!   With that said, I’m in no way qualified to judge this album on content, but I was impressed by the many terminology references used in very creative ways on “Strain Man. I’m …

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OG Kush Voted “Best Strain” Among the Two I Can Afford

Aaron Pitcher, contributor   Despite the explosive proliferation of new marijuana strains in recent years, a perennial* favorite came out on top yet again Friday afternoon in a “heated” contest between the selections I, the author, could reasonably afford.   You see, this guy I know who knows this other guy who I also happen to know gets these two …

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Bristling with Excrement (Fair Trade)

William Toblerone, contributor   Can I tell you how I got this emotional support squirrel? No! Can I tell you where we left the golf cart? Hella No! Can I tell you if the iRobot Roomba 890 is better than the Hoover Quest 700?  Hold my beer. Now hold my syringes.   I’m not going to just check Consumer Reports. …

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Safeway Monopoly Tickets and the Children I Would Sell to Get Them

Tiffany Greysen, contributor Safeway, along with many other grocery store chains, offers not only loyalty cards, but they also have a yearly game where they give you a folded paper Monopoly board that opens up to reveal a full Monopoly game board. This board has squares, and each square has multiple slots with different products. Your goal is to get …

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A Fun Final Farewell

Trevor Lockwood, contributor   So a loved one is finally cashing in their big lotto ticket in the sky. Now is the time to honor them they way that they’ve always wanted, with one last game of chance. It’s a raffle and boy howdy are there prizes to be won! It only takes a few easy steps to get a …

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Earning Your Participation Trophy the Hard Way

Mike Spiegelman, contributor   Don’t show up. Then, at the last minute, show up.   Show up but be a fucking dick about it.   Don’t look at your phone.   Win Grand Prize Trophy. Demand you also want a Participation Trophy.   Ask to receive the Participation Trophy last because you double booked ceremonies and you have another ceremony …

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Savage Henry Magazine’s Person Of The Year Award

Cory Barringer, contributor   In December of this last year, Time Magazine announced their annual Person of The Year would be a platform to recognize not only a single person but rather a concept — a movement, really — that has steadily grown in momentum: The Silence Breakers. Women that have bravely spoken out about their experiences with sexual harassment …

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What Not To Say at an Oscar Party

“Hey, that Oprah, huh? What a bitch, right?”   “I wonder where Harvey is tonight? Was really hoping to get some face time in.”   “Why yes, I do have a couch in my office…why don’t you come in for an audition this week?”   “Yeah, I was a producer on Little Nicky.”   “I don’t have any cocaine.”   …

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Indiana Letter

Hello, california. I have just moved here in last couple weeks from a boring Midwest state, not to mention by name, but anal gov is now V.P. Anyhow, just stumbled across your publication in a store which had about 10 most recent issues. I read each of them more than once, loving em. Got few questions, have you done an …

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Games and the Games That Game Them

Trevor Lockwood, contributor   Since the beginning of time, toys have existed, obviously. Ya know, since your parents weren’t all too bored before your funky face came to be, they had toys growing up as well! Some of my favorite toys have just been revamped trinkets of yesteryear. Take the ancient stick. When I was growing up I played with …

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