Savage Henry

METZ – Strange Peace

Chaps Blue Ribbon, contributor   METZ have not lost their taste for smashing out a heavy groove, riding the fuck out of it, then jumping immediately into the next one. Strange Peace is loud, noisy, angular post-punk rock from our friends in the Great White North (Canada). It’s almost like every member of this three piece band is playing percussion. …

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How to Receive Terrible Gifts from Your Family

Paul Danke, contributor   Receiving terrible gifts is a curse on the aloof. While some people can say “Thank you” and everyone believes them, we cursed kids from the back of the class can never seem to make people feel appreciated. Sure, the gifts suck, and believe me, they know the gifts suck. It’s your bad behavior: your sighs, your …

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Top 5 Hottest Toys of 2017

Gage Hensley, contributor                 Kevin Spacey ActIon Figure Denies any allegation that slightly involves him. With Kung-Fu grip that works on anyone who works under him and a button that turns him gay at will.             Mike Pence Toy Roomba Cleans up political messes you create through any …

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Un-American Letter

You are so UN-AMERICAN. All the sex talk, articles about sex, and referring to sex, is not only bad taste, its unbecoming of people such as yourself. You,obviously are a sperm-donor, not a Daddy. Great! 3 more kids who are not going to succeed at anything and are going to always have their hand out expecting everybody else to to …

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Letters 2 the Editor, Part 2: Extreme Edition

I am writing to let you know that you have a truly bodacious mag, my dudes. When me and the boys are hang-gliding over various canyons and ravines, we always have a copy of S.H.I.T. on hand to jam to and have a laugh while we soar.   I also love to thumb through the glossy pages of Savage Henry …

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The Audacity of Soap

Evan Vest, contributor   In the later 1990s, Ryan Jaunzemis was the king of soaping, a sport that combined elements of skateboarding along with what now would be called parkour. Using shoes with a grind plate attached at the bottom, Ryan was soaping his way into magazines and sponsorships, until an e-mail blunder cost him almost anything. The short documentary …

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How to be the Weirdest Person at Your Trim Scene

Leslie Small, contributor   Harvest season is upon us, and we all know what that means — trimmigrants! Meaning people paid to manicure weed into a profitable form in a room together, often for days and weeks on end. You’re probably asking yourself, “How can I be the weirdest person there?” Check out this handy guide below!   – Insist …

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6 Things I Told My Therapist That Were Totally Uninteresting to Him

Jason Melton, contributor   I told my therapist, “I don’t like getting oil on my hands because once it gets on your hands and you touch a doorknob the oil stays there so once you wash your hands you get the oil right back if you touch the doorknob again.” He said, “What was the thing you were saying right …

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