Savage Henry

The Night I Spoke with Jesco

Evan Vest, contributor I remember the night Appalachian outlaw tap dancer Jesco White came to me in my dreams. I was sitting on an antique rocking chair, forlorn and pained with memories of lost loves. From down the hallway I heard a rhythmic tapping. I followed the sound and saw a man in a confederate flag baseball cap and long …

Read More »

Narcan Is a Buzzkill

Keith D. contributor I came out of the warm numbing haze slowly, seeing 4 or 5 men standing above me. For a moment I thought they were my friends. Then I noticed the uniforms. “Look who decides to wake up,” said the cop as a paramedic was pulling a syringe out of my arm. “What are you doing in my …

Read More »

Scott Bowser’s Retirement Plan

Scott Bowser, contributor Retirement is something no one likes thinking about, as it usually involves a colostomy bag and watching all your friends die. When you finally reach the point where sitting in a chair and watching your “stories” is the only thing your pulse beats for, you’ll want to make sure you can take care of yourself, or at …

Read More »

There Is Such a Thing as a Dumb Question

I caught your podcast of 2/25, where you folks said you liked to play Star Wars: Battlefront. Nothing wrong with that, but it got my curiosity up. Has anyone on your podcast played Mario Kart 8, Super Mario Maker, or Splatoon? While I’m at it, have you guys ever played video games while stoned? — Don Lewis ed – Hold the motherfuckin’ …

Read More »

Cooking with Narcotics

C.B. Kelly, contributor People love making pot food. But what happens when pot is legalized everywhere, and all the people who did it for the thrill are left with nowhere else to turn for their illegal edibles? Here is a list of ideas for snacks and treats to be made with the illegal drugs of today. Pecan Oxys Like a …

Read More »

David Bowie – Blackstar

  Cee Cee Hill, contributor David Bowie is a British duke who also happens to be a singer. Best known for his cover of the Nirvana song “The Man Who Sold The World,” Bowie’s recently released Blackstar is a haunting, beautiful effort. It is experimental, yet accessible to even the casual listener. It mixes some electronica, noise and free jazz …

Read More »

Shark in the Water – Every Week is Shark Week

  Adam Jacobs, contributor This music is making my heart beat extremely fast, like I ate too many edibles. Is that healthy? Shark in the Water’s debut album Every Week is Shark Week takes surf rock to a new level, right about sea level. These guys kick Dick Dale directly in the nards with this heavy-ass surf rock. Hailing from …

Read More »

Cross Record – Wabi-Sabi

  Cee Cee Hill, contributor Wabi-Sabi is not the type of wasabi one might imagine. Wabi-Sabi actually represents a Japanese view of beauty. It refers to acceptance of imperfection but also refers to the loneliness of living remote from society. Cross Record is Emily Cross and Dan Duszynski. They moved from Chicago to Texas and now they live on an …

Read More »

Baroness – Purple

Spencer Devine, contributor Baroness must have one hell of a good publicist, as I had to read through a huge bio before getting to the link to stream this album. I like to try to figure out what sub pocket of Metaldom a band fits into because I’m partly ignorant to its actual intricacies, but this album left me feeling …

Read More »

Too Legitimized to Abandon

William Toblerone, contributor Congratulations on purchasing your new GoodCitizen™ Legal Intoxication Kit! You’ve chosen the nation’s only fully legal method of acquiring genuine Schedule II pharmaceutical narcotics without a prescription.   Please check the contents of your package thoroughly to ensure that it contains the following items: 1 Cardigan Welsh Corgi™ puppy 1 business card for John Mellencamp’s agent 1 …

Read More »