Savage Henry

ANAMAI – Sallows

Mikey Morales, contributor Somewhere on one end of the First World is a teenage goth boy  masturbating furiously, wishing he could find his One True Goth Love. Somewhere on the other end of the First World is a teenage goth girl, not completely aware of her sexuality, masturbating to images of Bowie in Labyrinth, and deems herself a demisexual, saving …

Read More »

Axis: Sova – Early Surf

Sam Greenspan, contributor After listening to this album several times over, I still approach it with the same level of competence I’d approach a test on imaginary numbers. It seems to make sense, logic and mathematics prove that it makes sense, and I, for the life of me, cannot understand it. I also, blissfully, don’t feel the need to. Imagine …

Read More »

Bouquet – Bouquet

Sam Greenspan, contributor If there was one artist I could resurrect, it would be Vincent van Gogh – for two reasons. The first, so that he could see the power, fame, and impact of his work first hand, and second, so that I could play him Bouquet. I can only assume they would swiftly become his favorite band. The concurrently …

Read More »

This SHITs for Reels – Punk Rock Movies

Michael Sargent, contributor Jubilee (1978) is an avant-garde punk rock dystopian nightmare. In a good way. Queen Elizabeth I demands her alchemist show her 400 years into a future world of roaming punk gangs (The Slits!), gunfire, creepy sex games, Adam Ant, violent cops and a crazy-eyed madman producer who proclaims “As long as the music’s loud enough, we won’t …

Read More »

“Fuck you Savage Henry, you filthy advertisement pimp…”

(Ed Note: Parrot is a regular music contributor, but was apparently too punk to compose their assigned album review.) Fuck you Savage Henry, you filthy advertisement pimp. One of the poverty issue tips should’ve been to wipe your ass with this magazine. This month stop sitting around reading and listening to albums like a moldy little turd and go to …

Read More »

Abused G, C, and F Chords Go On Strike; Punk Community Left In Shambles

Sam Greenspan, contributor Akin to the weakened knees of Atlas holding our mother Earth aloft on his crippled legs, the G, C, and F chords have finally had enough. Striking and picketing outside a Berkeley punk show at a students house, the aforementioned chords have refused to be played after decades of abuse and little to no compensation or even …

Read More »

There’s No Me in Punk

Tiffany Greysen, contributor I have the opposite of low self-esteem, I have a delusional amount of high self-esteem. I  think of myself as funnier, prettier, smarter and more amazing than I really am and I’m constantly in a race with others. However, I’m the only one who knows we’re competing. When someone asks me something that I don’t know, I …

Read More »

Whatever Happened to the Lesser Known 90’s Pop Punk Bands?

Timothy Paul, contributor Nap Mat – The three members of Nap Mat failed to find success after their debut album Daydream Machine failed to impress. The members quit music and now operate an organic citrus grove called the Tangerine Machine. Grief Parachute – Comprised of the incoherent middle school poetry of 13-year-old Hooper Crow, Grief Parachute’s debut album Feline Dry …

Read More »

PUNK’D and then Some

Spencer DeVine, contributor 6:30 a.m.   PUNK’D – Shamwow guy A Hidden Camera Show similar to Candid Camera, but famous celebrities are the victims. Each week Ashton and his crew of pranksters play a joke on celebrities such as Justin Timberlake and Frankie Muniz. This week Ashton pulls an elaborate prank on Vince Offer, the infamous personality behind the Shamwow. Someone …

Read More »

Chaos U.K. is Gonna Be O.K.

William Toblerone, contributor Back long ago, and I mean way back when gasoline still had to be refrigerated, I went through my punk phase to defy all of the fascist, nurturing, supportive adults that were oppressing me with unconditional love. One of the frequent flyers on my tape deck was Chaos U.K., a raw band that summed up my angst …

Read More »