Savage Henry

Doris and the Daggers – Spiral Stairs

Jimmie Menezes, contributor As a longtime fan of Pavement, I was stoked to have an early listen to prominent songwriter, Scott Kannberg’s, latest batch of recordings. I related to Pavement because they came from my area and were bored, just like me. We all have those friends that mature; ya know: move away for college, get married, have kids, move …

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If Ray Had a Penis #86

Ray Flynn, staff If I had a penis, I would try to do drugs off of or with it. Drop some acid on there. Maybe roll it in coke and get a long straw.  I’ve seen people drop doses into their eyeballs and that shit looks painful. I’d rather dose my dick, or better yet, my balls. Then I could …

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My Interview with an Alex Grey Painting

Evan Vest, contributor For this issue I really wanted to interview renowned psychedelic artist Alex Grey, but unfortunately my e-mails were never returned. I assume Alex is too busy at a farmers market or making a homebrew, something cool like that, so all is forgiven. The good news is that I took a phatty rip of some DMT off a …

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Funk Teacher

Ivan Garcia, contributor Are you looking to freshen up that look? Do you need a complete life change? All you need is the funk teacher. Nothing but the funk, you dig? If life has you down all you need is to be injected by the funk bug. You’ll be out on the streets lookin’ so fresh, Ziplock will want to …

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How to Keep Things Pleasurable When Wrapping it Up

Bruce Lynch, contributor Your fancy dinner party was a great success and it’s time to start winding things down. The problem is that things seemed to go over a bit too well and your friends don’t want to leave! How can you get your guests to head home when all they are interested in doing is spending more time enjoying …

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A Guide to Appreciating Great Cinema

Rocco Tenaglia, contributor In an age of constant reboots, sequels, and adaptations, it’s important to seek out only the finest of films. One way to curate your tastes – thus sharpening your mind and making you less susceptible to Hollywood’s usual drivel – is to revisit the classics and learn to appreciate what constitutes an exceptional motion picture. Now, most …

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Burnt Graham Crackers and Shattered Dreams

Tommy Lucero, contributor P.T. Barnum once said, “Every crowd has a silver lining.” He also said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Such is the state of today’s weed world and the gimmicky, now retail-laden landscape that is the medical Marijuana industry. Sure, it’s a lot more accessible, but it’s now to the point I’m missing my shady high school …

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Home Improvement Tips

Zeke Herrera, staff I know you’re like me and you’ve watched Home Improvement and thought “this could probably be better”. Tim Taylor’s antics are fun, but my 15th time going through reruns, things can get a little dull. Of course it could be improved (*wink*), but how? Well here’s a few pointers on how to make your Home Improvement viewing …

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Top 5 Urban Farming Pests (And How To Stop ‘Em)

Dave Losso, contributor Ants A colony of ants can devour your plants. Line your planter walls with sticky traps and if you can find the hill and plant a poison trap nearby. You can also spray it with a hose if you’re into that. Rats Rats not only eat your crops but they also contaminate your entire garden with plague. …

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Extreme Home Makeover…Nah, You’ve Just Got a Meth Problem

Josh Argyle, contributor So you have decided to feature the use of methamphetamine prominently in your life. Not my decision, or a good or even decent decision. But what’s done is done. YOU’RE A METH GUY NOW!  So it’s time to start acting like it. First things first, as a well-to-do meth enthusiast, you need a meth enthusiast house. Your …

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