Savage Henry

Superhero Rejects

Spencer Devine, contributor The Avengers may have a lot of members, but not everyone can make the A-list, or in some cases, the B, C, or D-list. Here are snippets of data entries for the applications that hit the cutting room floor of the prestigious super team’s flighty super-mansion. Name: Leonard Smith Occupation: Public Librarian Superhero Moniker: The Seat-Wetter Power: …

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Super Awesome Mash-Ups

Zeke Herrera, contributor History is full of awesome duos from Outkast to The Lincoln Clones. Duos are probably the greatest form of companionships, mainly due to convenience in the event of Lamborghini chase. Not all great duos are buddy cops, rappers, or Presidential clones; some duos come in the form of one thing with the best traits of both things. …

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Super Awesome Things To Do in Any Given Situation

Zeke Herrera, contributor A lot of people come up to me and ask how they can be super awesome in their everyday life. One piece of advice I always give is lying about how many people ask you for advice. Aside from that, generally it’s pretty straightforward. Screaming “Thug Life” before any situation makes it more awesome. Although some situations …

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It Feels Good To Stop Bullies

Travis Clohessy, contributor So I was taking my usual lunch break stroll down to the Co-op. No big deal. That pastrami sandwich isn’t going to go buy and eat itself… anyways… On the way there I see a little mob of teenagers just RIP across the road on bikes toward a nearby park. This normally wouldn’t be very noticeable, but …

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Super Awesome Foreign Rip-Off Cinema

Michel Sargent, contributor Superhero films are awesome! By logical conclusion the foreign movies that appropriate the “super film” has transcended our comic book film-form heroes. Probably channeling Roger Corman, the films are generally poorly executed, sometimes impossible to find in subtitled or dubbed versions, and usually ridiculously hilarious. Italy stealing from Yugoslavia’s The Three Fantastic Supermen (1967) has given us …

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The Awesome Sublimity Of Mighty Whitey

Professor Shoechucker, contributor Mighty Whitey is named that for a reason. He is awesome. So awesome, in fact, as to become sublime – meaning so incredibly inspiring that everyone else should prostrate themselves before Him. If all those un-Americans who foul the planet would just acquiesce to the Grand Dragon, then we could finally solve the world’s problems like war, …

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Super Trooper

Burly Allin Dent, contributor There are 2 things I’ve successfully avoided in these 33 mostly worthless trips I’ve made ‘round the sun. Incest, (blood incest) and folk dancing. I never ran with the folks….Why?  I suppose they never chased me… The folks were some kind of white gang back East… Not white, like “This here gang is for the whites …

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EMA: The Future’s Void

Cee Cee Hill, contributor  EMA released one of the best albums of 2011, setting expectations for her next record very high. On her new album, EMA took her time, isolated herself from the world, and apparently read a lot of science fiction books. The result is The Future’s Void. She has turned down a notch on the emotional sensibility, but …

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An Ode To My Bicycle

Danny Felts, contributor You’ve opened my eyes to so many things. A tertiary excuse for fitness, the rolling barrage of passive aggression that is the NW driver. Why are you stopped at this 4-way intersection? It’s your turn. Just go. How hard is that? Go. Go. Please. Alright, I’ll go if you’re not going to — Okay, now you’re going …

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What the Deal IS With Airline Food

Zeke Herrera, contributor For literally thousands of years, stand-up comedians have been philosophizing about what determines the quality of your free in-flight meal. Only three people have known the answer to this infamous question. Funny enough, these three people were John F. Kennedy, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Kenny G.  Kennedy, though, is dead (hence the band name), nobody can understand Bobcat, …

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