Savage Henry

David Hasselhoff: A Profile of America’s Next Great Thespian

Raj Noogmosh, contributor *This article originally appeared in the April 1981 edition of Savage Henry Magazine, the Great Hair Issue David Hasselhoff is pissed off. “A talking car?!” howls the 29-year-old stage actor – best known in the theater world for his Tony Award-winning turn in Brecht’s Saint Joan of the Stockyards – as he hurls a script against the …

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The Best Ways to Die in 2008

Andre Parker, contributor * From the “Guess Who’s Coming to the White House” Issue, November, 2008 DEATH. Everyone views death differently. Most people fear it. Rich people are constantly trying to find the cure for it, and it’s also a type of metal used to make guitars! All you have to do is BELIEVE! (Context? What’s that?) Some cultures even …

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This SHIT Is For Reelz

Michel Sargent, contributor  Writer’s note. The Savage Henry Independent Times’ 50th Anniversary is upon us. Back in 1964 I was asked to write a movie column. I jumped at the idea hoping the exposure would get me a cozy job in a ritzy NY magazine but, alas, here I am still shoveling S.H.I.T. For my first piece I chose to …

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Michael Sweet: I’m Not Your Suicide

Elle Berry, contributor Aging Christian rock gods don’t die, they sow the seeds for their resurrection. In the case of Michael Sweet, we can anticipate a few centuries of ignominy before our clubfooted and squinting descendants pull a copy of his 2014 autobiography Honestly: My Life and Stryper Revealed from the post-apocalyptic rubble and use it as the seminal text …

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Arto Lindsay: The Encyclopedia of Arto Lindsay

Raj Noogmosh, contributor This album is a litmus test for how you like your art. Nearly everyone whose opinion matters falls into two camps: the first we can call the “Ron Swanson Camp,” who believes art should only convey a grounded image – ships with sails or men on horseback. The other end of the spectrum contains those who believe …

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Look At This Mess

Andrew Ouellette, contributor Originally printed in the “Food For Thought” edition Lesley sat at the kitchen table with tears welling up in her large green eyes. All that she could do was sit silently as the vulgar torrent of insults was hurled at her. “That’s not how you do it, you stupid cow! You’ll KILL somebody!” Her husband Matthew screamed. …

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The Best Of Doctor Doom’s Twitter Feed

George Kane, contributor You know why Bruce Springsteen’s nickname is “The Boss”? It’s because everyone secretly fantasizes about killing him. What’s the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is made strictly from fruit juice while jam is made from crushed fruit. RESPECT WOMEN!!! Pie is better than cake because there is no such thing as Urinal Pie. It’s true love …

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Goodman: Designs EP

Leah Brzezinski, contributor Goodman is one prolific dude, with more than 13 releases under his belt, and a  plethora of paintings to boot. I wish I’d had my hands on this latest EP when I was creating my “ADHD mix” of awesome songs under three minutes, because all of these sultry, funky beats would have been contenders. Each instrumental hip-hop …

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Ray LaMontagne: Supernova

Rosa Green, contributor Supernova, the new album from bonafide crooner Ray LaMontagne, is… okay. I think Ray fell in love, got stoned, and listened to psychedelic Bossa Nova every day of the four years since his last album. It’s a bit soft, which is perfect for a warm Summer day on the beach sipping pink moscato with some beloved friend. …

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