Savage Henry

The Time I Dressed Up Like A Dad and Ate Hot Wings At The Strip Club

Bryn Robertson, contributor  There are a few things to pay attention to when dressing in drag at a strip club. Number one: The further you look from the photo on your identification card, the better. Make no apologies and stand up straight. If there’s one thing my Dad still nags me about, it‘s good posture. Number two: Get your mustache …

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Extreme Failures

Tim Palmer, contributor  With the success of “Mountain Dew” and the “X-Games”, extreme products have become huge moneymakers. But for all the success stories, there have been a number of missteps in attempts to turn other products into “extreme” versions. Here is a rundown of some of our favorites: XTREME TOYOTA CAMRY: Worked too well. All women under the age …

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Opinion Column

Tony Persico, contributor Extremely Awesome Ideas!! Make milk that doesn’t expire. Congress should be run like jury duty. You go to the mailbox and find out you’re a Senator. Every reality show should be combined with another reality show immediately, cutting the number of reality shows in half. This should be repeated ad infinitum. Left handed people, mostly left handed women, …

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The Shoechucker: My Freedom Can Beat Up Your Freedom

Choada Salinas, contributor Our founding fathers invented freedom. America’s freedom is so awesome that everyone must sublimate to it, prostrate before it, and bear witness to the shock and awe that it demands. That’s why Chuck Norris is an American. His beard is a literal manifestation of American superiority. Behind every one of our freedoms is another freedom and we’re …

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My Extremely Awesome Life

Tony Persico, contributor I have done so much with my extremely awesome life, the most interesting man in the world asks me what to do. I am an expert pilot, and am often seen doing loops and landing on runways. I avenged my brother’s death by single handedly wiping out several biker gangs, but the taste of revenge grew sour when …

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Album Review: The Touchy Feelies “Out of Time EP”

Leah Brzezinski, contributor  It’s the feel good, melodic pop- punk sleeper hit of the season! Equal parts fun, cute and badass make for blasting this Los Angeles- based quartet’s four song EP like biting into a perfectly sweet slice of watermelon. Throaty female vocals, catchy choruses, simple major chords, pleasing harmonies, driving drum beats and indulgent guitar solos— it’s chock …

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Album Review: Mudhoney “Vanishing Point”

Cee Cee Hill, contributor “Vanishing Point” is Mudhoney’s ninth album in 25 years. The first song is raw, unproduced and doesn’t sound like the work of a “veteran band.” I’m sure they’re competent in production techniques, so I imagine this is a statement on how they like to record. If you are able to overcome that unexpected moment, things actually …

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Album Review: Atoms for Peace “Amok”

Astro De Rosa, contributor  Atoms for Peace is Thom Yorke’s musical collaboration with super producer Nigel Godrich, along with Flea and two percussionists. At 5 feet tall, Yorke walks a thin, contradicting line between organic and electronic music. Whether the sounds are created on the fly, or placed carefully in editing and post production, there’s a sense of appeal that …

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Home Owner’s Association Letter

Chris Acosta, contributor Ed-note – a few months ago one of our writers received violations from his home owner’s association. The following is his reply: I have done the following to rectify the violation (loose fence boards and cable wire being a different color than the house) stated in the letter. On April 12 at 3 p.m. I began my …

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Extreme Awesomeness /Extreme Aerosmith:Same Diff

William Head, contributor The most extreme moments from New England’s most extreme band of rockers 5) May 12, 1989 Boston, MA A mini-riot breaks out as throngs of scantily clad local Boston skanks protect their turf against a pervasive faction of invading “Jersey whores”. Vanessa, one of the aforementioned Jersey whores, claims that the only reason they even came over …

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