Savage Henry

Album Review: Moira Scar “Scarred For Life”

Joel Leavitt, contributor    Rather than write a traditional review, I thought I’d share a little tale of my week listening to Moira Scar. Day 1: What the fuck did Ben send me? Day 2: I got an e-mail from the band saying they love Savage Henry Magazine. Day 3: Organ grinder. . .that’s me singing in a deep voice! …

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My Dad Did Some Pretty Cool Shit

Anonymous (cuz I call my grandma a shitbag), contributor  As a child of the west coast, passive aggression courses through my body like a scourge of white blood cells, and I fucking hate it. There’s only so many times you can hear somebody say the phrase, “Umm…yeah…I was thinking… maybe you could put your towel in your room because its …

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Deal Ol’ Dad

Lucy Castle, contributor   You show too much leg. There was a time in the early 1980s when it was acceptable for straight men to have a Magnum P.I. mustache and wear daisy-dukes, and you rocked that look! It was also more than OK for you to wear a Speedo when we were stationed in Italy, but even I knew that you …

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Proud Bald Man

Keith D, contributor My father is a proud bald man. As a child, he prepared me for the hardships I would come to face as a bald man in America. He taught me comebacks to bald slurs such as “Baldy”, “Chrome-Dome”, and “Mr. Potato Head-lookin’-motherfucker.” He taught me not to wear a hat, but to hold my bald head high. …

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Dr. Shoechucker: In Defense of Patriarchy

Choada Salinas, contributor Face it – if it weren’t for men you wouldn’t be here. Even if your father was the kind of rolling stone that left you nothing but alone, he is still the primary reason for your existence. Women may be the ones giving birth but it’s men who provide the seed. Therefore, it’s really men who harbor …

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My Father Said Things I Submitted to S.H.I.T.

Patrick Perkins, contributor My dad wasn’t a terrible guy and, though not a professor, he isn’t an idiot either. Considering he served on the Enterprise (though not under Kirk or Picard), he’s been to prison, was a logger, and now he runs his own farm. He’s an interesting guy. Over my life he’s given me some really great pearls of …

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Savage Henry’s Most Eligible Bachelor

Emily Hobelmann, contributor Savage Henry Magazine recently broadened its horizons out beyond the Redwood Curtain, and guess what we found out there… Hot single men like our June bachelor — hottie with the body. Reader, please meet… Edgar, 37, double-job ninja — shipping manager + server; Loomis.  E-money’s got his shit together. Straight up. He’s definitely not a man-child, and …

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Frankenstein is Your Daddy

Michael Sargent, contributor Dr. Frankenstein can be considered the daddy of all monster daddies’. From the mind of a teenage Mary Shelley, Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (Prometheus is a trickster deity credited with creating a man from clay though purists will fittingly point out that Athena did breath them to life), and published in 1918, no monster creator has been imitated …

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The Words of My Father

Corin Balkovec, contributor    Growing up, my father taught me many things: Algebra, how to drive a car, various types of home repair. But out of everything, the one skill that has been his biggest gift has been learning how to swear. Yes, knowing how to drive a car is useful, but learning how to call someone a “dumbfuck” while …

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Father

Justin Alan, contributor My father story can be quite depressing. Seeing as this is typically a humor and/or comedy oriented magazine I will get the bummers out of the way up front, and then we can all have a nice fart and be on with the article. When I was 16 years old (I’m 25 now) my father killed himself. …

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