Savage Henry

Shoe Chucker: The Science of God’s Love

Choada Salinas, contributor Considering all this blasphemy about whether or not those godless heathen homos should be allowed to wed under the same holy institution that has given me my three wives and 16 children, it only stands to reason that I would be angry. How dare the state afford the same rights to people who like different sex than …

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Science: Making Your Life Better Since, Like… Forever

Corin Balkovek, contributor Science: Saving Your Life I mean, c’mon:You get cancer and Science helps you with lasers and nuclear chemicals. Saving your life AND possibly helping you turn into a superhero. You need a new heart? “Here,” says Science, “let me use this pig’s heart and help you out.” Then you both laugh and laugh because the reason you …

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A Brief History of Love With Dr. Stephen Hawking

Rob Seltzner, contributor Dear Dr. Hawking, I am a great admirer. I have read all your books and regard you as the smartest person of our generation. I am hoping your intellect can extend to a problem I am currently having with my husband. We have been married for 10 years and I just feel like he doesn’t listen to …

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Humboldt’s Most Eligible Bachelor – April 2013

Emily Hobelmann, contributor  It’s spring! Flowers are blooming everywhere, and they smell amazing. But then S.H.I.T. caught a whiff of a sweet-something-else in the air. We followed the scent all the way down to Southern Humboldt, and lo! We found… Kelby, 41, Hospitality Specialist, Garberville  Kelby is one dreamy slice of man-pie with his dark-eyes and warm, café au lait …

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Great Scientists In History Or, Other Reasons These Guys Were Awesome

Danny Felts, contributor William Sanford Nye, or, “Bill Nye The Science Guy”: In the spirit of impartiality I must confess that this section is going to be the one thing that any good scientific inquiry shouldn’t be: biased. Trust me, it’s not because it’s my goal to be impartial. Nobody wants that. It’s the same quality that allows drunk bros …

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Album Review: Ghostface Killah (featuring Raekwon and Cappadonna) “Ironman” Reissue from Get on Down (Gold Edition 02)

Leah Brzezinski, contributor I’m admittedly not a hip-hop expert or “gangsta” in any sense. In 1996, when this seminal album was originally released, I was making up bad dance routines to Ace of Base. Fortunately, I’ve opened my mind since then, as has the world to hip-hop’s cultural significance. This is one seriously cool limited-edition box set from Boston-based Get …

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Album Review: Josh Ritter “The Beast In Its Tracks”

Kevin Nelson, contributor Divorce is never a happy subject. The inherent sadness and inherent no doubt creates a mournful tone, but mournful is truly the bread and butter of singer-songwriter types, so it’s perfectly suited for Josh Ritter’s latest, “The Beast in Its Tracks.” Written and recorded in the 18 months following a split from his wife, Ritter took a …

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Album Review: Chelsea light moving self-titled (self titled)

Jewelry Franz, contributor Thurston Moore’s Chelsea Light Moving has just released its eponymous debut. It’s his first project since Sonic Youth announced an “indefinite hiatus.” The sound is really dissonant and raw, coupled with throwback punk moments and atonal, noisy spoken word pieces. You get the feeling Moore has put his soul into this record. Much of the lyrical content …

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A Savage Henry Classic: “The Quiet Menace of B.S.C.O.O.T.B.”

by Health page editor Dr. Jeffrey Calhoun (from the April 1953 issue of Savage Henry)  Hello again from the hallowed halls of medicine, readers. I want to talk to you today about a very serious medical condition that’s affecting more and more Americans at an alarming rate. Why, the first time I read about in a whites- only medical journal, …

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Timeline of Scientific Achievement

Tony Persico, contributor This timeline focuses on the most important and most influential achievements, inventions, and advances that have occurred over the last 200 years. I performed several minutes of research to ensure that every detail is factually accurate, because I care enough to educate as well as entertain. But then I got bored around the year 2000 and stopped …

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