Savage Henry

Letter to the editor #06 (f)

Dear Savage Henry, Remember when, early on, you published an ad asking for ideas from your readers, saying we might get a chance to run our ideas in yer mag? ‘Member how I sent you an email saying how I’d like to write a snarky advice column and how I’m all funny and smart and stuff and you guys should …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (e)

Dear Savage Henry, I am a former Humboldt County local that recently moved down to Southern California. I love your magazine but seeing as how I am stuck within the evil clutches of So Cal suburbia I have no way of getting ahold of your wonderful literature. I was wondering if there was any way I might be able to …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (d)

Dear Savage Henry, I love movies. I watch a lot of movies. Can’t stand a movie with a rape scene in it, though. Don’t much like rape scenes in magazines either. Some of my favorite movies, on the other hand, feature the winning combination of tattooing (surprise, surprise) and revenge. There’s that winning scene in The Girl With the Dragon …

Read More »

Letters to the editor #06 (c)

On page 5 of the September issue you mention a Laramie Valley. I don’t think there’s a Laramie Valley in Humboldt man. There is definitely a Larabee Valley though. – russb emdee Dear russb, Congratulations! Savage Henry Magazine’s intentional misuse of the “Laramie Valley” reference was in fact an Easter egg — a hidden in-joke that you were first to …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (b)

Dear Editors, What have you done with Madame Specifica?  I can’t help but think that some foul play is involved by the sinister look of that black box announcement about her.  Who cares about this woman’s psychic abilities, MS is FUNNY!  Funny is a rare commodity, especially in your zine.  A couple of months ago I bet MS would outlast …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (a)

Dear Savage Henry, Thank you for printing my letter to the editor in your last issue. Unfortunately Pete did not maliciously paint over my mural like I claimed, but only reluctantly painted over it after some bureaucratic art Nazis from the commie- toilet known as Arcata City Hall forced him to do it. Knowing this I would like to personally …

Read More »

Road Rage: Deadly Dumbass Distractions

the Angry driver, Contributor Because driving is a goddamn massive and fucking serious responsibility involving other lives, your only option is to take specific and immediate steps toward driving responsibly. Of course you don’t do that. Instead, you send texts and update your online status while staring in the mirror, trying to make yourself look less like a Eureka meth …

Read More »

Countdown to harvest…

Things are coming along steadily. you are starting to see and smell the fruits of your sweaty labor. Civilians smell it, too … it’s almost time to post up, get sticky, do a line or two of coke and make some sitting-down money. take these steps now to lube your harvest situation when it’s time Growers… 1) Dump your steady …

Read More »

If at first you completely suck…

Milo Shumpert-Appel, Contributor I feel as though I’ve been stuffed inside a body bag and dragged by horses over uneven terrain. My stomach bubbles with all the elegance of a week-old stew left in the sun and heavy on the red meat and hot peppers. As the coffee and Tylenol settle, all I can think about is how badly I …

Read More »

Advice for the lovelorn, curious or just plain confused

Dear Dr. Love, “Jenny” and I have been in a committed relationship for just more than two years. While on a Carnival cruise last September, I asked her to marry me. She hesitated a little longer than I would have liked, but ultimately she said yes. I’ve rented out a Healdsburg winery for our Thanksgiving wedding. I have taken care …

Read More »