Savage Henry

BULLSHIT AD SLOGANS

  Like a Rock? CHEVY TRUCKS Why it’s complete b.s.: What are they even talking about, crack cocaine? How in the fuck is a pickup truck even remotely like smoking the rock? Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires U.S. FOREST SERVICE Why it’s complete b.s.: Most forest fires are started by lightning. Ergo, unless you’re Zeus, you can’t prevent jack-freakin’-squat. …

Read More »

You might be uh… Harvest Issue #1

OK, you asked for them back and here they are…The Foxworthy ripoff, uh, I mean inspired, “You might be a….” Please enjoy. new to Humboldt County if… You might be new to Humboldt County if you still pay $50 for and eighth of weed. You might be new to Humboldt County if you have a tan. You might be new …

Read More »

Carrying

John Hardin, Contributor Before Proposition 215, my pot habit fit in my pocket: something shy of a quarter-ounce of weed, wrapped tightly in a sandwich bag next to a three-inch antler pipe and Bic lighter. With a pack of rolling papers tucked in my wallet, I still had room in my pockets for keys and a knife. Now, I have …

Read More »

80s TV Shows & Their Unintended Legacies

Diff’rent Strokes   Wealthy old white guy adopts two black kids from the ghetto; fish- out-of-water antics ensue ad nauseum.   Legacy: Introduced a curse on child TV actors that lasts to this day. Also: A mind- boggling windfall for masturbation humorists. Saved By The Bell Follows the exploits of a clique of privileged white kids attending a California high …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (f)

Dear Savage Henry, Remember when, early on, you published an ad asking for ideas from your readers, saying we might get a chance to run our ideas in yer mag? ‘Member how I sent you an email saying how I’d like to write a snarky advice column and how I’m all funny and smart and stuff and you guys should …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (e)

Dear Savage Henry, I am a former Humboldt County local that recently moved down to Southern California. I love your magazine but seeing as how I am stuck within the evil clutches of So Cal suburbia I have no way of getting ahold of your wonderful literature. I was wondering if there was any way I might be able to …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (d)

Dear Savage Henry, I love movies. I watch a lot of movies. Can’t stand a movie with a rape scene in it, though. Don’t much like rape scenes in magazines either. Some of my favorite movies, on the other hand, feature the winning combination of tattooing (surprise, surprise) and revenge. There’s that winning scene in The Girl With the Dragon …

Read More »

Letters to the editor #06 (c)

On page 5 of the September issue you mention a Laramie Valley. I don’t think there’s a Laramie Valley in Humboldt man. There is definitely a Larabee Valley though. – russb emdee Dear russb, Congratulations! Savage Henry Magazine’s intentional misuse of the “Laramie Valley” reference was in fact an Easter egg — a hidden in-joke that you were first to …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (b)

Dear Editors, What have you done with Madame Specifica?  I can’t help but think that some foul play is involved by the sinister look of that black box announcement about her.  Who cares about this woman’s psychic abilities, MS is FUNNY!  Funny is a rare commodity, especially in your zine.  A couple of months ago I bet MS would outlast …

Read More »

Letter to the editor #06 (a)

Dear Savage Henry, Thank you for printing my letter to the editor in your last issue. Unfortunately Pete did not maliciously paint over my mural like I claimed, but only reluctantly painted over it after some bureaucratic art Nazis from the commie- toilet known as Arcata City Hall forced him to do it. Knowing this I would like to personally …

Read More »