Savage Henry

Letters to the editor #05 (a)

Editor, I was seriously pissed. A little bit of worry may have blotched that felonious anger, but seriously, i was pissed! SIX WEEKS. OK, OK, OK. So you have responsibilities: friends, neighbors, jobs, mothers and fathers (sometimes two of the same sex) you have to deal with. You have to spread yourselves thin from time to time under pressure from …

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Oaxacan Barbecue

Milo Scumpert-Appel, contributor There are a lot of interesting people in Oaxaca. I’ve met architects, old-school B-Boys … the Italian photographer introducing his exhibit of photos of migrant workers scarred and maimed while riding the rails in search of a better life up north. There are the expatriate hip-hop artists, the countless men and women who can salsa like it’s …

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Madame Specifica’s Monthly Predictions #04

 Aries  March 20 – April 20  You are attending a wedding, and you know what that means: a trip to Ross. Don’t worry if you are embarrassed to see people you know at the mall. You have caught them there, too.  Taurus April 20 – May 21 You will be faced with an important gift to give this month. Instead of thoughtful, …

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HUMBOLDT-BASED PHOBIAS their secret origins

  Arkleyphobia You are inflicted with a toe-curling fear of Coastal Commission mixers, single malt scotch and Tea Party politics. Also characterized by a marked aversion to centers for the performing arts and beer pong tournaments played aboard Gulf Stream jets. The thought of fishing for salmon at elite Alaska resorts makes you tremble. You are forced to take Xanax …

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The Shoechucker We are all Oscar Grant

Choada Salinas, staff Let’s start here, just in case you don’t know what happened. Frankly, if that’s really true, then you are either a complete moron or you live under a rock or, considering this is Humboldt, both of those things multiplied by being too stoned to think. Two hours into 2009, Oscar Grant was in a fight at the …

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Savage Henry Summer Get-Away Guide to the Great Outdoors

Our backyard is an outdoorsman’s paradise. Whether kayaking, backpacking, hunting or fishing be your pursuit, California’s rugged North Coast offers it in abundance. How hard is our crush on the great outdoors? We Humboldters have been known to cry over the YouTube trailer for “A River Runs Through It” — the 1992 Brad Pitt vehicle purporting to boast the natural …

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Why do we trust dudes with beards?

In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s big money in long facial hair. Fact is, you can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting a consumer product that’s being pimped by dudes with unkempt facial hair. Question is, why? The predominant message Bearded Guy conveys, after all, is that he is too broke — or too lazy — to spend …

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Letter to the editor #05 (b)

Editor, This just in: Pizza-ruiner and all-around art-hater Big Pete has just overseen the buffing of Sheik’s monumental mural on the side of Big Pete’s Arcata location. “I wouldn’t have painted anything if I knew he was going to buff it one month later,” said outraged artist Sheik. “I even used my own paint, time and everything. That mural was …

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Road Rage “Geritol Generation Genocide”

The Angry Driver, Contributor Road rage is never at its most frustrating when stuck behind old people driving. Old. Fucking. People. Driving. They drive cars that are only practical when you need absolute comfort for your champagne-sipping passengers while hurtling down the freeway at 100 m.p.h. They have the worst vision, the worst hearing, the worst reaction times and the …

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Evening in Kadiköy

James Tressler, Contributor In the days of the Ottoman Empire, the streets of Istanbul were plagued by dogs (in some parts of the city this hasn’t changed) — street dogs who wandered alone and, at night, in packs. They were generally cared for well; any dog that lingered outside the door of a cafe would be given some morsel from …

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