Awesome Shit Thrown in the Lame Drawer Undeservedly

Popular opinion is a powerful thing. It might rank right behind ice, gravity, and money on the big power list in the sky. It gets shit done most of the time but it can go SO wrong… sowrong… sarang… Like men wearing sarongs. Popular opinion said this was ok for a while in the 90s. See what I mean?

(This is not Awesome)

Sarongs

But sometimes popular opinion mows down cool stuff and sticks it in the lame drawer undeservedly where only those who really don’t have a shit to give display their like for said thing out in the open. These folks, who DGAF what you think widen the gap between the thing and the rest of the word because they are undesirable and probably ugly. This is very factual and legit because I read Psychology Today in the bathroom.

 Wine Spritzers
Thanks a lot, Bartles & Jaymes, for making bubbly water and wine so accessible and popular that it got blown out. Assholes. Fact is, club soda and wine taste good together but are in the lame drawer. Bummer. It was probably partially your mom’s fault for getting drunk and crying at the lake.

Star Trek
Your parents totally dug Next Gen and your grandparents dug the original series. Popular opinion said it was OK back then. It was a badass show. Ask your mom. This was thrown in the lame drawer by nerds going way too apeshit over it. Just like soccer and Europe. That’s why we only let kids play soccer here because Europe looks so stupid frothing at the mouth over it. Nerds got way too frothy over Star Trek and there was no choice. But it IS good. Netflix that shit.

Salads
It’s not about fat. Being fat is totally fine and cool. If your body eats cheeseburgers 100% of the time your farts will smell awful. That is what it’s about. Salads wax and wane on the popular opinion board. In the ‘70s they were way in until some asshole started putting jello and salmon together and calling it a salad. It was downhill from there. They are considered unmanly and that has something to do with it. How is food of any kind unmanly? “BBQ chicken on lettuce? FUCK THAT, I’M A MAN. And being such makes my preference ground up-cereal grains smashed together with egg and sugar, heated until solid! Not lettuce! DUH!” You know who doesn’t eat salads? Guy Fieri. Thats all I have to say, hopefully.

Dungeons and Dragons
This game, back in the day, was so cool it was considered satanic. If you think DnD is lame you are basically saying Satan is lame and SHAME ON YOU. At least Satan hasn’t been thrown in the lame drawer yet. He will always be super cool and so will DnD because it is fun. FUN. You sit around a table with your friends, drink beer and smash reverse mermaids (that’s fish body, lady legs) with a mace. You’re doing the first two of those things anyway. When it is regular people around the table there is nothing nerdy about it. Regular people play in secret. People wearing capes play in the open and that’s why the stigma continues.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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