RCA releasing Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music
Let’s say you’re an executive at RCA records in the early 1970’s. One of your most lucrative acts (Lou Reed) is riding high on the success of his album Transformer and its David Bowie-produced single “Walk on the Wild Side.”
Your man Reed submits his new album featuring nothing but guitar feedback and manipulated ambient electronic noise. How do you feel? Would you be trippin’ too?
Guns N’ Roses taking years to record and release Chinese Democracy
In a measly 17 years and a budget of over $13 million dollars, Axl Rose handed in the most exceptionally mediocre heavy rock album of all time. It’s not that Chinese Democracy is bad, it’s just that what could be good songs get lost in overproduced string sections, electronic synth, and samples of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Bob Dylan’s born-again phase
It should have been no surprise to fans and critics alike when Dylan released a series of recordings in the early 80’s, celebrating his newfound love of Jesus and all things Christian. The man has always done whatever the fuck he wants artistically, regardless of what anyone thinks.
The Offspring song “Cruisin’ California (Bumpin In My Trunk)”
Hey, every band has to experiment a bit, right? In 2012 The Offspring released a single that may have well been an outtake of Katy Perry’s latest masterpiece. It’s puzzling as the Offspring were once the kings of “90s-extreme-snowboard-punk.”
Shaquille O’Neal’s rap albums
Yes, the enormous former NBA player had a rap career. His musical output highlighted his ability in stroking his ego while mumbling over decent beats on tracks such as “I’m Outstanding.”
The band Iron Butterfly while recording “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”
“Hey man, what’s the name of this song?” “In the garden. . .of. . .mgdhfdfdsds. . .” (stoned and drunkenly mumbled by songwriter Doug Ingle)
Sting’s post-Police career
Why not follow up a career with (arguably) the most popular band of the 80’s by releasing adult contemporary sounds the equivalent of plain oatmeal? Because you’re Sting, and you can do whatever the hell you want!
Anyone who has ever attended a concert by or bought an album by Hollywood Undead
You would think the death rattle of nu-metal had already been heard by the time Hollywood Undead released their debut in 2008. The band’s music sets the tone perfectly for any testosterone-junkie to head out for a night on the town to drink Jagermeister, chest-butt his friends and engage in meaningless violence.
Neil Young’s Everybody’s Rockin’
Let’s just say Neil Young was a bit “confused” in the early 80’s. Sandwiched between the futuristic vocoder synth-pop of Trans and the pure country of Old Ways, Everybody’s Rockin’ was a bizarre take on rockabilly and that classic 50’s sound. Even more impressive is the album art.
David Lee Roth working as an EMT
Hey, what are you going to do after Kurt Cobain instantaneously makes your hard rock/pop outfit (Van Halen) look bloated and silly? Well, why not try your hand at saving lives and cruising around as an EMT?
*Ben Allen is Savage Henry’s music editor and loves talking way too much about music no one cares about