Buns n’ Hoses

The New Incarnation of Guns n’ Roses 

We received some shocking news today in the music world. Axl Rose has come out of the closet and decided to rename his band “Buns n’ Hoses.” In a statement obtained by our staff, Axl said, “my lyrical content and song titles will now reflect my new lifestyle. I feel my art is a way to manifest empowerment and pride in the gay community.”

We got our hands on one of his reworked setlists for an upcoming gig. The performance will rely heavily on material for his recently re-envisioned 1987 debut recording “Appetite for Erections.”

Welcome to the Jungle/Well, Cum to the Bunghole 

My Michelle/My Michael 

Mr. Brownstone/Mr. Brown Bone 

Paradise City/Pair-a-dicks City 

November Rain/No Member Pain 

It’s So Easy/Dicks So Greasy 

You Could Be Mine/Spooge Could Be Mine 

Get in the Ring/Get In the (Anal) Ring 

Used to Love Her/Used to Love Him 

Live and Let Die/Live and Let Homosexual 

About Ben Allen

Our music editor Ben Allen was born one stormy evening in a quaint Northern California coastal village. Upon birth he was immediately exposed to the soothing analog sounds of artists such as Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, Paul Simon, Captain Beefheart and Santana. As the lad grew, so did his appreciation for an assortment of abrasive hard rock. A pubescent flirtation with butt metal was shattered in the early 1990’s by exposure to Nirvana and other so-called “Alternative” bands. While in college, our protagonist became a DJ on a local station, and began work as a freelance music journalist. During this period he became entranced with artists such as Tortoise, Slint, Modest Mouse, Guided By Voices and Pavement. Currently Allen resides in Arcata, CA where he continues to obsess and salivate over new recordings by his favorite artists. He works with music industry people to ensure that Savage Henry’s contributors receive music and other promotional materials. He also writes a silly monthly list titled “Ben’s 10.”

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