Can’t ya smell that Smell

Mike Hawkburn, contributor


When you smoke the loud it’s bound to bring a crowd. But too many heads is of the least concern if the man or the feds smell that sticky icky burn.

You could always wrap your reef in a tobacco leaf but that sweet leaf will eventually attract unwanted attention. So you may find yourself at your parents’ house, exiting a porta potty, or
in a hotel elevator when some nosey square asks, “what’s that smell?” But just play it cool and follow the golden rule; if they can tell you’re stoned they probably smoke.

Sometimes a good plausible explanation for the funky skunky is all that’s required. You could say you have a pet skunk, but skunk ownership is illegal in most states.

This excuse can work in Ohio though where you can legally adopt pet skunks, ironic right?

If you don’t have the means to own a skunk your next best excuse if blame your feet or if you happen to be wearing shoes then blame them. Nobody is gonna call your bluff and smell your feet or your funky shoes to compare the aromas.

Now covering the smell of herb smoke or cultivation with incense is probably the oldest trick in the book, but did you know that burning incense is an important part of many religious ceremonies. Religious freedom is about the only thing more American than incarcerating pot smokers, so pick a good religion that isn’t too well known and lean into it as hard as you need to. In Christian parts of the country claiming the smell is a part of a Satanist ritual is an effective way to be left alone to smoke, especially when paired with a serious invitation to join in the ritual.

Bottom line – just play it cool. Half the time the lady from the front desk is just trying to toke to make it through her shift. If you’ve already smoked your stash what are they gonna do call the cops? I mean it’s the it’s the 21st century – just get a vape like an adult.

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