Carrying

John Hardin, Contributor

Before Proposition 215, my pot habit fit in my pocket: something shy of a quarter-ounce of weed, wrapped tightly in a sandwich bag next to a three-inch antler pipe and Bic lighter. With a pack of rolling papers tucked in my wallet, I still had room in my pockets for keys and a knife.

Now, I have a couple of nice glass bubblers, but I think I need a Volcano Vaporizer. I like to keep three or five strains of weed around and, of course, I keep them in glass jars. I made myself a nice trivet with little hand-blown jars for honey oil, kief, and bubble hash, which I add to bowls and joints like condiments. That sits next to the rolling tray and grinder, the screen box and a few other assorted pipes.  You can see that my habit now requires furniture, and takes up floor space.

Just going out to a party now requires a small suitcase, or at least a lunchbox, and I’m not the only one.

I see everyone bringing luggage to the party. I see a guy toting a six foot glass bong in a modified golf bag.  Do I think that excessive?  No, I mean, at least he’s getting some exercise with his bong, not like so many others, cruising their bongs around in electric bong carts.

Glassblowers need to take some responsibility for this phenomenon. We all used to smoke out of these tiny metal and wood contraptions made from re-purposed lamp parts. Now I sport a clownishly huge multi-colored fistful of glass. It’s not discreet, but it sure smokes nice.

Every year these pipes get larger. Do we need bubblers the size of saxophones?  Well, maybe.

Lots of people like to carry their weed in those backpacks designed for students. Plenty of room in there for a nice bubbler in a corduroy bag and a mason jar full of weed, throw in a grinder, some papers and a Frisbee, maybe a bottle of wine, and you’re ready to party. I’ve even seen these backpacks shaped like cute little furry animals, including monkeys. Does walking around with all of your weed and smoking apparatus in a backpack shaped like a monkey on your back conceal or advertise your habit?

Some guys like to use those sinister-looking black, foam- lined, Pelican cases designed for firearms. I’ve noticed that these cases generally match the carriers’ outfits, which range from black with accents of camo, to camo with accents of black. I wonder whether these guys will break out their weed, or has a “black-ops” team targeted our host. You can’t be too careful about these things. That’s why I always carry a loaded 9mm pistol wherever I go. I usually carry it inside a Scooby-Doo lunchbox.

About Savage Henry

Check Also

The Best Way to Stay Anonymous at Your Next Craigslist Orgy

Cornell Reid, staff   Sometimes when you’re perusing craigslist you accidentally end up RSVPing to …