Carter and the Orick Peanut; A History

George Washington Carter was the first black president to also be an inventor besides Ben Franklin Roosevelt. Carter invented the peanut by splicing the genes of a pea and a walnut.  He soon became addicted to these salty snacks and was known throughout Delaware and Orick for being the Pea-Nut*s biggest fan and inventor. Delaware didn’t do shit all about it, but Orick, on the other hand, celebrated this great black president’s penchant for peanuts** by having its mayor and most talented burl artist carve a giant peanut out of redwood. Before it could be sent to the White House, however, Carter was killed in a farming implement accident on the farm of his good friend Eli Whitney, a fellow inventor and known transvestite. His successor to the presidency was his vice president, whose name was never written down.

The peanut still resides in Orick where it is used to prop up bicycles who either have lost their kickstands or were made without kickstands for racing reasons.

 

*Pea-Nut was later changed to the single word “peanut” when the the – symbol was carried off from the printing press by a bird mistaking it for a peanut, ironically.

 

**Penchant for Peanuts was also the name of George Washington Carter’s garage band which were then known as “barn bands”

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

Rejected GI Joe Codenames

Around the ol’ GI Joe HQ they only know each other by their kick-ass codenames: …