Articles

Remembering That Time You Accidentally Did Dabs Because Moms Make Mistakes Too

Tiffany Greysen, contributor Once upon a time, in a land called Arcata, California, an exceptionally lovely, smart, funny mother of two took the word “dabs” and incorrectly assumed that it related to the traditional meaning of the word: Dab noun A small amount of something. “She licked a dab of chocolate from her finger” Synonyms: Drop, spot, smear, splash, speck, …

Read More »

Gender Neutral “Women Be Shopping” Jokes

So you’re out hanging with some friends and you have a great joke you want to tell them. You get all the way through the joke and instead of cracking up all your friends they look horrified. Uh oh, your joke wasn’t funny; it was stupendously offensive! This is a scenario that happens to all of us. Are you tired …

Read More »

Red Pill, Blue Pill, Purp

OJ Patterson, contributor The cylinder’s milky smoke evaporated into a spike, jabbing, piercing, probing until Neo found himself in an all white room. Only two beat-up armchairs and an old timey television in “middle” of the “room” interrupted the emptiness. “This is the Construct,” announced Morpheus, stepping from behind a cloud of smoke. “It’s our loading program. We can load …

Read More »

Never Get Another DUI

Adam Jacobs, contributor Driving Under the Influence can ruin your life and in the state of California you can get a DUI for being high on weed. That’s fucked up. When I’m stoned I drive way better than when I’m sober. I drive slower, pay more attention to butterflies, obey all traffic laws, and stop at every drive-thru. I think …

Read More »

How to Achieve the Perfect Stoner Look

Evan Vest, contributor Look, I enjoy weed as much as the next guy. It’s pretty obvious when you see me that I smoke, which is rad because I’m always being offered weed or getting robbed. I’ve achieved the perfect stoner look after years of practice, and I’ve found one thing that has helped immensely: I’ve never worn ANYTHING with a …

Read More »

Talking Dog Conspiracy Theory

Ryan Allen, contributor A viral video entitled “You won’t believe this shit” has been catching speed around the Internet lately, in which a talking golden retriever named Rover states that there is a conspiracy behind the very existence of dogs. In the video, Rover reveals that after eating an entire tray of marijuana-infused brownies, the world “suddenly opened up” around …

Read More »

Get High Off Your Own Supply

Keith D., contributor Every drug dealer has heard the age-old adage, “Don’t get high off your own supply.” Well, I’m here to tell you that’s foolish. You HAVE to get high on your own supply because it’s cheaper that way. If I have a pound of freshly grown weed, why would I turn around and pay one of my competitors …

Read More »

How To Grow Nugs

The easiest way to grow nugs or “Merry-hana” as it’s called in the dictionary is a process that involves many steps. It takes a true genius to grow nugs in this easy way. If you’re not a genius like me then you won’t even understand this 700-step process and you’ll be a loser for the rest of your life. Sorry …

Read More »

Long Lost Journal of Charles Darwin’s Brother Duane FOUND!

Derek Luna, contributor October 7, 1835  My continuing experimentations with herbs and plants will surely remove me from the long shadow my older brother Chuck has recently cast; with the publication of his most recent book, his fame and fortune grows; yet he seems unwilling to lend even a pence to his brother. No matter, I will continue my work …

Read More »

Six Edibles Deep

Edible 1 – The first one just kicked in. Fells like my center of gravity dropped out like in the middle of a dream I was having and that’s just the way it is. Why did I agree to this?   Edible 2 – Shouldn’t have gone to Safeway. I’m pretty sure I just ran into my son from the …

Read More »