Articles

Your Mama Jokes That Will Leave Them Crying in Shame

Up your game, baby. You’ve got to bring it hard if you want to diss my mama. To wit:   Your mama is so fat that she broke her leg in a grisly skiing accident. Your mama is so ugly that she wore a mask to go trick-or-treating. Your mama is so fat that her blood type is O-positive, one …

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Polar Myths De-Myth-tified

Dr. Foxmeat, contributor Here are just a few things you probably didn’t know about these frozen extremities of our mother Gaia: 1) The Poles Aren’t ACTUAL Poles This should come as no surprise to anyone who’s ever thought for a fucking second about it. For starters, it’s WAY too cold at the actual poles to support a healthy post hole. …

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How to Make Friends: A Guide for the Lonely Nazi

If you’re a Nazi you probably thought 2017 was going to be all sunshine and lollipops. I don’t want to get political, but 2016 ended on a pretty high note for you Nazis; however, just cuz you got some friends in the White House doesn’t mean you have any friends at home. It’s still hard to make friends as a …

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Top 5 Things I Thought Were Illegal

Alyssa Cowan, contributor In today’s complex world of rules, it’s hard to tell what’s okay to do and what isn’t. For many laws, it’s still impossible to know! In the interest of commiserating, and letting you know that it’s okay to still be confused, I’ve put together a list of things I thought were illegal, but aren’t. Christians Reading Porn …

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Make Marijuana Illegal Again

Andrew Holmgren, contributor On November 8th 2016 is a day that will go down in history as a very dark day in American history. That was the day that California voted to legalize weed. I enjoy smoking weed, you could call me a weedsman, I’ve been like this for many years. But when I woke up on the morning of …

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Illegal Athletes

Sean Green, contributor We all love professional athletes but sometimes their most memorable work comes off the field. No I’m not talking about court mandated charity work or cameos in Adam Sandler movies I’m talking about crimes. These three athletes live by the mantra “go big or go home” especially when it comes to breaking the law. Everyone is very …

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Cooking Tips

It’s that time of the year again — time to eat. Here are some good tips for making the process of food preparation easier: *To soften a package of cream cheese, hurl it balefully into a roaring fireplace *Tenderize your meat by whispering your undying devotion to it *For those hectic moments when you don’t have a minute to spare, …

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This SHITs for Reels – The Mall Edition

Michel Sargent, Movieish Title The sequel to Clerks (1994) is a bottom of the barrel dick/butt/boob joke-filled buddy movie about a bunch of Mallrats (1995) “with no shopping agenda” causing havoc while disrupting a game show taking place near the food court. It’s romantic too. Atmospheric music and violent post-prison ex-boyfriend’s shopping cart P.O.V. shots instill dread as a supermarket …

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From the Mouths of Babes – The Savage Henry Comedy Festival Primer

The 6th annual Savage Henry Comedy Fest descends on Humboldt October 6th – 8th. In the last half decade the festival has grown in size, quality, and reputation. I mean, it’s still not a huge fest and most of the performers are turnt as hell, but it’s become a yearly tradition for some of the best and weirdest comics working …

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