Articles

Can’t ya smell that Smell

Mike Hawkburn, contributor   When you smoke the loud it’s bound to bring a crowd. But too many heads is of the least concern if the man or the feds smell that sticky icky burn. You could always wrap your reef in a tobacco leaf but that sweet leaf will eventually attract unwanted attention. So you may find yourself at …

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How To Smoke Weed With Food

Farmers Market Bong Fill up on the freshness. Plus the cabbage makes the weed taste like Irish.                 Hotdog Blunt Ever wanted to get that juicy dog grease all up in your lungs? Just core that wiener and straight up plug it with some stinky herb. Then eat the dog. It tastes like …

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Code Words for Hooters (on a Lady)

Zack Newkirk, staff   If you’re like me, you’re a 12-year-old boy who stands up and applauds for a killer set of knockers. Not to objectify women or anything, but I sure do love to see a slammin’ rack on a babe. Who’s with me?   But don’t let mom catch you talking about a pair of juicy juggs or …

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A Hero’s Tail

William Toblerone, contributor   I don’t know how you feel about ass. Mostly because only two of you filled out the survey that was sent to everyone on the mailing list. I used to know how I felt about ass until my cranium way overhauled by the summer’s hottest film.   I went into this movie with the same preconceived …

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Smoking Weed

Zeke Herrera, staff   Do listen to your budtender to make sure you’re paired with a weed that works best for you. Don’t pass to the right. There’s a system, deal with it.   Do share your weed with friends. Don’t poison your weed and kill all your friends.   Do blow smoke in your pets faces so they can …

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New Flavors of Swishers

Ivan Garcia, contributor   Belly Button Fruit Punch Hailing from the peak of the Himalayas comes a flavor so pure you’ll have flashbacks of your birth.     Racial Tensions Vanilla   Maneuvering through this country’s racism problem can be hard on a person. Kick back and watch American fall apart as beautiful vanilla aromas make love to your nostrils. …

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The Best Strains to Name Your Children After

Leslie Small, contributor   In this Renaissance of marijuana which we reside in, one wonders just how far the ripple in this pond complied of pot culture will travel. It has successfully leaked into various reaches of our lives, but children’s names? It’s only a matter of time my friends. In the interest of the greater good I’ve compiled a …

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An Obituary for Weed’s First Fatality

Dave Losso, contributor   Charles “Chaz” “Dirt Dog” Smith, Jr. died peacefully July 25th in San Fernando after turning an X-Games Porta Potty into a dab rig. He will be remembered for his warm smile and detailed theories about Donnie Darko. He is survived by his parents, Nancy and Charles “Dirt Dog”, Sr., sister Nancy, and dog Rocko, who he …

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This Fan Theory About a TV Show Will Blow Your Stupid Pothead Mind

Mike Spiegelman, contributor   Something posted on the Internet has gone viral, and its story is generating headlines online. A new fan theory about a classic cult television program has everyone talking and is worthy to a lead-in paragraph to what passes as news nowadays on the Internet.   Seven years after Lost went off the air, the ABC mystery …

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Lunch at Ft. Sumter (or How Pizza Started the Civil War)

Dr. Taint Wellsworth, contributor Professor of Historical Anecdotes Knob College of Heating and Cooling Online Transcribed by Derek Luna   New information obtained from the Historical Society of South Carolina has shed light on events leading up to the Civil War. Historians have long pointed to states’ rights and the ever-growing issue of slavery as hotbeds of tensions between the …

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