Articles

Plan B Is Living in Humboldt

You can’t run away to be a clown if you are from Humboldt. The way it works now is you graduate from your HSU Arts program, your parents give you some $$ and you end up in Blue Lake and it’s all kinda legitimate. Which sucks, because that sounds like a plan A with plan B sprinkles. What is a …

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Plan B(FA)

Andrea Bartunek, contributor Everyone knows that when you go to art school you’ll most likely end up behind a front desk and not a professional artist. Even if you are still making art, you’re probably just instagramming it and nothing else. Sorry but you’ll only get 30 likes anyway. When you go to art school and receive a BFA, everything …

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2016 Presidential Primary: A BuzzFeed Report

2016 Presidential Primary: A BuzzFeed Report Bimante Marie Stonefeld, BuzzFeed Staff OMG moment: you guys, Bernie Sandwich is gonna win this thing. As a staunch feminist and fan of Jimmy Fallon and Channing Tatum, this makes me mad. What is happening to this country? I am a reporter for the news, and when I was born in 1998, this country …

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Sean Green’s Sports Gambling Podcast – Plan B Edition

Sean Green, contributor Plan A was to win a ton of money gambling on the Super Bowl, but you’re one of the millions of losers who didn’t win. Don’t worry. Enter Plan B: This failsafe list of ways to win back that easy money you missed out on during the big game. Fix A Small-Time College Basketball Game This mob …

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License to Cuss

  I’m 18 today, you bastards, and guess what? You can’t tell my butt what to do anymore. I’m heading down to the gas station to buy some skoal and a lighter, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And guess what? I’m gonna damn cuss whenever I want from now on. HELL frickin’ yeah. I get to vote …

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Savage Henry Top 4

Oh yeah, baby. Time for that top four! Let’s count down, and I know you know the words! Haha. Ok, here we go: 4: Joseph Stalin Hitler gets all the press, but what about this guy? Better mustache, better ding-a-ling from what I’ve heard! Haha! YEAH. And HEYELLL YEAAA he loved Satan, too! DOUBLE-DOWN!! 3: Joseph Stalin Hey, how did …

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5 Tips to Becoming a Jedi

Spencer DeVine, contributor Being a Successful Jedi is difficult and everyone needs a little help now and then. That is why I’ve compiled five basic tips to help everything go smoothly on your trip through the stars. Number one, get health insurance. No matter which side you’re on, Sith or Jedi, there’s always a chance you could be cut in …

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This SHITs for Reels – Star Wars Edition

Michel Sargent, staff The Untitled Star Wars Mockumentary (2003) begins as a fake tribute to director Damon Packard by Tony Curtis followed by Packard cutting himself, friends, old trailers, pornography and other film clips into an actual Star Wars documentary of the weeks leading to the release of Attack of the Clones (2002). Fucking hilarious! The reason George Lucas© made …

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Refu-jeez

Butch Escobar, contributor Gungans: they may be George Lucas’ biggest mistake, but now they’re America’s biggest refugee problem. Being blamed for bad movie reviews and not shitty movie making, the Gungans are being displaced in droves. So it’s time that we here in America step up and do our duty. Adopt a Gungan family today. Where else can a Gungan …

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