Articles

savage henry guide to naming your band

We here at Savage Henry are what you might call opinionated. And with opinions come generalizations. There are often times that I decide to see a show based solely on the name of the band, and how their flyer is made. When coming up with the name for your band, keep in mind it’s the first impression that anyone will …

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Madame Specifica’s Monthly Predictions #2

 Aries    March 20 – April 20 That haircut you get mid-month is a bad idea. Not pointing-and-laughing bad, but “aaaw, you got a bad haircut” bad. The gel isn’t going to help either. Think do-rag.  Taurus   April 20 – May 21 Your partner develops night terrors this month and after a few days of being awoken from a …

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Gnarzipan… a burly confection

The British have had more time to separate themselves by class than the Americans have. You can tell a tracksuit-wearing, corner-pub drinker from a banker blindfolded just by listening to them talk. Here, where your professors tell you to “chill, bro,” it’s not as black and white. If you stay away from the word ain’t and breathe through your nose, …

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The Shoechuckers: Hippies or Mexicans: Deportation Roulette

Choada Salinas, Columnist Look at it this way. Imagine if every stinky dreadlocked dork in Guatemalan pants were to start getting pulled over and accosted on the suspicion of being a loser. Hold on, that’s wrong — it assumes they’re in cars. Let’s say stopped on the street. Yeah, that’s better. Can you see it now? You know that kid …

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Humboldt Professional Wiffle Association

A funeral is a helluva place to meet a friend, but I guess we can’t pick these sorts of things. I didn’t even know why I was there; all I got in my inbox was a notification of a funeral — a “remembrance” they called it. Pretentious dingo pack of a family sent out the proclamation of services to anyone …

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ROAD RaGE ~ “CROsSwalk cavorting”

The Angry Driver, Contributor Even though people regularly get killed while crossing the street, pedestrians still love to fuck with us drivers. You gaytards get a boner from making cars lock up their brakes as you walk right out with no warning and then take your sweet fucking time strolling across. I for one am about ready to just plow …

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Best cover band names EVER

Zoo Fighters Foo Fighters cover band devoted to combating circuses, carnivorism and animal confinement. Ten percent of all proceeds are donated to PETA. Nine Inch Rails Nine Inch Nails cover band with an unhealthy addiction to Peruvian marching powder. Murl Jam Septuagenarian cop-fronted ensemble covers “Even Flow” and “Jeremy”. Lady Ga Ga Goo Goo Toddlers playing Lady Gaga. Buns ‘n’ …

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Bands of the Month: Charles Hargis and the Northern Hunger

There was a very vibrant music scene in Humboldt County in the early 2000s. One house in particular, The Janes Road House, is an old farm house near Greenview Market in Arcata that spawned quite a few bands. Zombie Core Allegiance and Relapse just to name two, but there were others. Chuck McCammon was one of those musicians from the …

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Savage Henry Feature: The Sports Brahs

Angie Baker and Becca Glaspy are like a female athletic version of the Smothers Brothers. They play guitar, set each other up for jokes and sing songs about the goodness of butter and taking night runs instead of doing drugs. Their wholesomeness doesn’t come of as annoying. It more reminds you of that chick in high school who organized scavenger …

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You might be a…#2

The cease and desist order from Jeff Foxworthy still hasn’t popped up in our P.O. Box, so we’re at it again. In this issue we take on those homeless-by-choice types that come through the area thinking marijuana just grows on trees: The trustafarians. They’re living off their parents’ success, sometimes under the guise of being a student at Humboldt State …

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