Articles

Field Trippin’

Bruce Lynch, contributor Thank you for your interest in booking your field trip to Kensington Pumpkin Farm! We are the #1 choice for fall school field trips for Little Rock and surrounding areas, so come out and see why! The fee is $9 per child, including a free 2-4 lb pie-pumpkin. There is no admission charge for teachers, limit two …

Read More »

If Ray Had a Penis #86

Ray Flynn, staff If I had a penis, I would try to do drugs off of or with it. Drop some acid on there. Maybe roll it in coke and get a long straw.  I’ve seen people drop doses into their eyeballs and that shit looks painful. I’d rather dose my dick, or better yet, my balls. Then I could …

Read More »

Cow Tipping

Matt Redbeard, contributor First off, I just want to point out that cows actually want you to do this to them. The joy that comes across those massive cute AF eyes just fills my heart with the same joy. This is a controversial topic because there is a lingering question that we can’t, as people, seem to figure out. Why …

Read More »

Pros and Cons

Things that hallucinogens have ruined for me: Garlic Fries   Things that hallucinogens have made better for me: Carpet Tree trunks My friend River’s door Phish   Things I don’t do anymore because my acute need for control and lack of free time: Hallucinogens   Things I plan to do when I’m 60: Smoking a super cool pipe like Miss …

Read More »

Funk Teacher

Ivan Garcia, contributor Are you looking to freshen up that look? Do you need a complete life change? All you need is the funk teacher. Nothing but the funk, you dig? If life has you down all you need is to be injected by the funk bug. You’ll be out on the streets lookin’ so fresh, Ziplock will want to …

Read More »

Accidental Trip

Like Bugs Bunny, I literally took a wrong turn in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was trapped in a large parking lot and to turn around I had to pay 5$ to a very serious parking attendant who wasn’t having any of my excuses. It ended up being the parking fee for the Gathering of Nations, the Largest Native American pow-wow …

Read More »

Less Than Famous Serial Criminals

You know all the famous serial killers by name: Jeff Dahmer; Son of Sam; Johnny Wayne Gacy; Zodiacman; Ted “Theodore” Bundy; Bill S. Preston, Esquire — the list goes on. But there have been countless more sadistic and depraved serial criminals that haven’t gotten the sexy headlines. Among these hidden gems: The Boston Teabagger From 2010 to 2013, dipped his …

Read More »

How to Keep Things Pleasurable When Wrapping it Up

Bruce Lynch, contributor Your fancy dinner party was a great success and it’s time to start winding things down. The problem is that things seemed to go over a bit too well and your friends don’t want to leave! How can you get your guests to head home when all they are interested in doing is spending more time enjoying …

Read More »

A Guide to Appreciating Great Cinema

Rocco Tenaglia, contributor In an age of constant reboots, sequels, and adaptations, it’s important to seek out only the finest of films. One way to curate your tastes – thus sharpening your mind and making you less susceptible to Hollywood’s usual drivel – is to revisit the classics and learn to appreciate what constitutes an exceptional motion picture. Now, most …

Read More »

Unbelievable: The Overheard Trump

No stranger to controversy in his pre-political life, Donald J. Trump, now President of these United States, has become even more scandalous after taking office. The slightest turns of phrase, before considered the mere gurglings of a demented reality TV star, are now dissected and analyzed for nefarious and clandestine meaning. Now, sources within the White House itself are leaking …

Read More »