Articles

Wrestling in the Bible

Thomas Hunter, contributor For something to be in the Bible, it’s gotta be old and it’s gotta be important, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be real. Obviously wrestling makes the cut. Wrestling makes its biblical debut in Genesis chapter 32. The reason you don’t hear much about it in church is because, like most wrestling matches, it includes some …

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Wrestling Moves Banned For Historical Insensitivity

Everyone’s heard of the headlock and the suplex and even the pile driver … classic wrestling moves. But since the dawn of the, ummmmm … sport (?) professional wrestlers have let their creative side out when naming their signature moves, and sometimes this gets them in some politically incorrect trouble. Here are some of the old moves that created controversy …

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Bret Hart’s Hair Care Secrets

Hi. I’m Bret Hart. People are always asking me, “Bret, what’s it like to be the champ?” And I say, “It’s pretty tits.” And they ask, “How do you get your hair so beautiful?” It was easy to answer that before the 1979 energy crisis. Because of certain decrees by the United States government, I had to come up with alternative …

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Animal Wrestling for the Refined Gentleman

Spencer Devine, contributor It is inarguably difficult to be super fancy in a world full of ruffians and riff raff. Have you ever had your monocle chain snagged by a passing backpack strap? Had a button eaten directly off of your vest by a classless punk? Well, l have good news: you can train yourself as a strapping man-lad to …

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Your Signature Move

Ivan Mueting, contributor Your signature move is who you are. It defines you. You could just say “This is who I am,” but actions speak louder than words. You can make no louder statement than slamming your enemy from the top ropes. You want to wrestle? You want to be the greatest? Well, who do you want to be? Do …

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This SHITs for Reels – Punk Rock Movies

Michael Sargent, contributor Jubilee (1978) is an avant-garde punk rock dystopian nightmare. In a good way. Queen Elizabeth I demands her alchemist show her 400 years into a future world of roaming punk gangs (The Slits!), gunfire, creepy sex games, Adam Ant, violent cops and a crazy-eyed madman producer who proclaims “As long as the music’s loud enough, we won’t …

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6 Punk Albums My Dad Made Me Throw Away (and His Reasons for Doing So)

Like most teenagers, I went through a punk phase. This was much to the dismay of my father, who raised me on 1950’s sock hop tunes and whose idea of punk rock was Lenny Kravitz’s “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” One evening, after returning from a church assembly where we congregants were warned about the dangers of Satanic rock …

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Abused G, C, and F Chords Go On Strike; Punk Community Left In Shambles

Sam Greenspan, contributor Akin to the weakened knees of Atlas holding our mother Earth aloft on his crippled legs, the G, C, and F chords have finally had enough. Striking and picketing outside a Berkeley punk show at a students house, the aforementioned chords have refused to be played after decades of abuse and little to no compensation or even …

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There’s No Me in Punk

Tiffany Greysen, contributor I have the opposite of low self-esteem, I have a delusional amount of high self-esteem. I  think of myself as funnier, prettier, smarter and more amazing than I really am and I’m constantly in a race with others. However, I’m the only one who knows we’re competing. When someone asks me something that I don’t know, I …

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5 Reasons Why Your Mohawk Is the Worst

#5 . It makes you look like a unicorn with a troubled past. No unicorns have safety pins in their ears. Also no unicorns were kicked out of their stepdad’s house for selling oxycontin. #4 . YOU DON’T HAVE A BADASS JOB!  You are the assistant night manager at Bennigan’s. That is the least punk you can get. You are …

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