Articles

6 Punk Albums My Dad Made Me Throw Away (and His Reasons for Doing So)

Like most teenagers, I went through a punk phase. This was much to the dismay of my father, who raised me on 1950’s sock hop tunes and whose idea of punk rock was Lenny Kravitz’s “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” One evening, after returning from a church assembly where we congregants were warned about the dangers of Satanic rock …

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Abused G, C, and F Chords Go On Strike; Punk Community Left In Shambles

Sam Greenspan, contributor Akin to the weakened knees of Atlas holding our mother Earth aloft on his crippled legs, the G, C, and F chords have finally had enough. Striking and picketing outside a Berkeley punk show at a students house, the aforementioned chords have refused to be played after decades of abuse and little to no compensation or even …

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There’s No Me in Punk

Tiffany Greysen, contributor I have the opposite of low self-esteem, I have a delusional amount of high self-esteem. I  think of myself as funnier, prettier, smarter and more amazing than I really am and I’m constantly in a race with others. However, I’m the only one who knows we’re competing. When someone asks me something that I don’t know, I …

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5 Reasons Why Your Mohawk Is the Worst

#5 . It makes you look like a unicorn with a troubled past. No unicorns have safety pins in their ears. Also no unicorns were kicked out of their stepdad’s house for selling oxycontin. #4 . YOU DON’T HAVE A BADASS JOB!  You are the assistant night manager at Bennigan’s. That is the least punk you can get. You are …

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The Savage Henry Punk Quiz

Are you punk? How punk are you? Are you a goddamn poseur (posers spell it that way)? Are you too punk to care? Great! Take the quiz and find out how punk you really are! It’s the Savage Henry Magazine Punk Quiz! 1.) Judy is a: a. Punk b. Judge c. Woman d. Jetson 2.) Iggy Pop’s real name is: …

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Look at This Fucking Oogle

I have to admit … I am secretly fascinated by crust punks. The traveling, train hopping, face tattoo kind. It’s akin to being fascinated with hoarders or people who can’t stop eating couch cushions, I suppose. There’s a shameful voyeuristic tone to the fascination. The idea of, “Fuck it. Fuck everything. Now is awesome. It’s bleeding? Just rub dirt into …

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Whatever Happened to the Lesser Known 90’s Pop Punk Bands?

Timothy Paul, contributor Nap Mat – The three members of Nap Mat failed to find success after their debut album Daydream Machine failed to impress. The members quit music and now operate an organic citrus grove called the Tangerine Machine. Grief Parachute – Comprised of the incoherent middle school poetry of 13-year-old Hooper Crow, Grief Parachute’s debut album Feline Dry …

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PUNK’D and then Some

Spencer DeVine, contributor 6:30 a.m.   PUNK’D – Shamwow guy A Hidden Camera Show similar to Candid Camera, but famous celebrities are the victims. Each week Ashton and his crew of pranksters play a joke on celebrities such as Justin Timberlake and Frankie Muniz. This week Ashton pulls an elaborate prank on Vince Offer, the infamous personality behind the Shamwow. Someone …

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Chaos U.K. is Gonna Be O.K.

William Toblerone, contributor Back long ago, and I mean way back when gasoline still had to be refrigerated, I went through my punk phase to defy all of the fascist, nurturing, supportive adults that were oppressing me with unconditional love. One of the frequent flyers on my tape deck was Chaos U.K., a raw band that summed up my angst …

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