Articles

Red Dawn (When shit hits the fan)

I ran across a personality test with this question: “You would consider it exciting if the apocalypse happened — true or false?” I weighed the options and had to admit to myself that, aside from all the guts and black stuff and after all the screaming quieted down, post-apocalyptic America would be the perfect place to evaluate one’s cache of …

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Shows you shoulda went to: Chicken of the sea

I don’t know how the baritone founder of Jurassic 5 and Ozamatli got his name, but no matter what Chali 2 Na goes by hip-hop legend should precede it. It was a little nerve wracking at first, with about six people in the crowd until just before opening act Medusa went on. It’s like there was a sign outside that …

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Shows you shoulda went to: Hank III: still Gnarbuckle

The Mateel has such a weird vibe. It’s the place where people who don’t see a lot of other people for most of the year go and see people. And shows. It acts as a sort of grange for the So. Hum growers and others from the area down there and gets forgotten by No. Hummers until something they are …

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Top Stories of 2010

As a new publication, we have to scoop the North Coast Journal and Times-Standard, not to mention The Eye, the McKinleyville Press, the Tri-City Weekly and the gobs and gobs of blogs as much as possible. Therefore, we give you the Top Stories of 2010. Eureka Police Lt. Murl Harpham runs for and wins a Eureka City Council seat with …

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Saving it for posterity (or a horrible prank)

When you live in the middle of nowhere you don’t get to choose your friends. I certainly didn’t choose Tom, the pimply kid who lived a half-mile away from me with his grandma and the derelict uncle who let him drink beer. He was the only other 13-year-old around. When we weren’t throwing oranges at cars or lighting fires, we …

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Why NOT to see “AVATAR”

If you haven’t heard about this little movie called “Avatar”, let me break it down for you: A bunch of Earthicans invade a planet to mine a mineral called unobtanium (not kidding), but the locals (10-foot-tall, blue, stupid-looking creatures called the Na’vi) don’t cotton onto that scheme and, led by a traitorous human soldier, decide to fight off the Halliburton-like …

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Lady GaGa is the Best Musician Alive

CJ Stewart, contributor     The first time I saw Lady Gaga perform on television I just dismissed her as a regular no-talent ass clown. I was wrong. Lady Gaga is effing amazing. Born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, Lady Gaga started playing piano by ear at age four. That’s fucking rad. When I was four I was mostly just pooping on …

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Eureka Skate Park Opens

Humboldt was a geographical blind spot for traveling skateboarders. Skateparks are big and bad these days and the mother load of parks is Oregon. There are plenty in the Bay area too, but in between, for so long, there have been only a few little city parks. It’s like the difference between dinner and a piece of gum. The opening …

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Leave the Poor Man Alive

Out of left field. It hit me like when Hunter Thompson turned a gun on himself. Out of left field. JD Salinger was dead. What? No, the JD Salinger? It’s not like the man had been on my radar for years, I forgot that he was even still held up in his Cornish, New Hampshire home — grumpy and mysterious. …

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V is for Vasectomy

Well, I figured it was that time…. I had two kids, a boy and a girl. They are great, but damned if I’m gonna have anymore. I mentioned to my wife that I was thinking about getting a vasectomy, and that is about as dumb as being near-dead-hungover and saying something retarded like “I wanna quit drinking,” ‘cuz if anyone …

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