Letters to the Editor

Letter to the editor #05 (c)

Dear Savage Henry, I don’t have a toilet tank but I do have this tan oak to hold your magazine. It’s a good distraction from the mosquitoes while I’m dropping one. Thanks. Mitch (from can’t tell ya)

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Letters to the editor #05 (a)

Editor, I was seriously pissed. A little bit of worry may have blotched that felonious anger, but seriously, i was pissed! SIX WEEKS. OK, OK, OK. So you have responsibilities: friends, neighbors, jobs, mothers and fathers (sometimes two of the same sex) you have to deal with. You have to spread yourselves thin from time to time under pressure from …

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Letter to the editor #05 (b)

Editor, This just in: Pizza-ruiner and all-around art-hater Big Pete has just overseen the buffing of Sheik’s monumental mural on the side of Big Pete’s Arcata location. “I wouldn’t have painted anything if I knew he was going to buff it one month later,” said outraged artist Sheik. “I even used my own paint, time and everything. That mural was …

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Letters to the editor #04 (c)

Dear S.H. Editor, While A. Nus (SH #3, letters to the editor) has clearly spent a good portion of his life in the Humboldt pot industry, he’s misidentified the top tier of his cannabis industry hierarchy. Growers don’t belong in this hierarchy, because real growers actually grow and trim their own weed, thus avoiding hierarchy. People who need three cell …

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Letters to the editor #04 (b)

Dear Editor, Wow. Sarah Godlin’s article in the July issue about her Grandma’s forwarded emails. AWESOME! First I tried the hair conditioner to shave my legs. I have this really nice hair conditioner, but I hate the smell. I gave your tip a try, and hot shit, it worked great and I can’t smell my legs anyways! Now I eat …

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Letter to the editor #04 (a)

Dear Savage Henry editors, I am frustrated by your decision to not run my short erotic story, “My Advisor and Me”. As a feminist and avid proponent of First Amendment rights, it offends me that your editorial team would participate in this type of censorship. I felt empowered by writing about a sexual encounter that was both incredibly exciting and …

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Letter to the editor #3 (b)

Hey jerks! I read what you said about Weott, We are sick and tired of “weotta” jokes. Next time you want to talk shit on Weott. Why not talk about the lack of any stores or services or possibly the fact that our town has no sidewalks or that the funny weott center sign, Oh i know how bout the …

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Letter to the editor #3 (a)

My name is Jacques Doushe. I think the music scene is dying because I am an aging prick and have a reputation for being a fucking hater so no one would want me to know about their music anyway. I am too much of a blind fucking retard to see that, so I will blame it on musicians and venues. …

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Letters to the editor #2 (b)

To whom it may concern, It has come to my attention that not only have you continued with your publication, but you have made it even brighter and more appealing to children. I found a copy of your word pornography in my son’s possession. HE IS A CHILD! I have seen the corruption in his actions: Talking back, playing video …

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Letters to the editor #2 (a)

Dear Editor of Savage Henry, I spotted the complete lie in your story about weird Eureka facts. Kevin Bacon to Eureka in 16 degrees? Ha! You could connect him to the leather armchair at your grandma’s house in fewer degrees. Kevy B. was in “Enemy of the State” with Will Smith who was in “I Am Legend” with Michael Patton …

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