Class Acts: How To Not Look Like A Schmuck in 2013

Danny Felts, contributor

Before I say anything, this needs to be thrown out there: I, Danny Felts, am a mostly un-fancy person.

My own “style,” if that’s what we’re going to call it, is utilitarian at best, and curiously negligent at worst. How long have I been wearing these pants you may be asking? A month. I’ve been wearing these pants for a month because washing denim is something of a pilgrimage when your apartment building’s only dryer is 20+ years old. This isn’t the life I chose, but I take it one step at a time, and dammit, I think I’m going to make it. And yet, despite my jeans and everything they represent, I still think fanciness is important. Trust me, by all logic and reason it shouldn’t be. Everyday is an invitation to wake up in your sleeping clothes, slap on some Crocs, and call it good, and yet for the large part we don’t.

Make no mistake, we all mess up from time to time. Sometimes you just can’t help but be the metaphorical ‘teenager wearing a trenchcoat’, or ‘gentleman wearing a camouflage shirt that states “Now you can’t see me!”’. So to help put those days behind us, and lessen the frequency of times where you can smell your own body odor billowing out of your hoodie, I’ve thought about and pondered what it means to look nice in 2013, and after much thought I’ve decided it really comes down to one thing.

Socks.

You might be saying to yourself, “Danny, women have every opportunity to look nicer because of the accessories they have access to. I don’t want to wear earrings, make up, etc… What’s a gentleman to do when he’s not trying to look like David Bowie from Labyrinth? One word, gentleman: Socks. Socks are ostensibly the gallbladder of a man’s wardrobe. Most people forget that they exist, but it’s painfully

obvious when something is amiss. Socks are weird because they do so much for us, but are hands down the most underutilized piece of a man’s wardrobe. Socks are like earrings for your ankles. Think about it. If you’re wearing a black suit at some sort of formal dinner, really, the only opportunity to show some personality in your outfit is either through your neckwear, or socks, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to advocate bowties in this day and age (don’t). Want to add a little splash of color to your personality without going through the hardship of creating and fostering relationships? Socks. You’re welcome.

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