Communist Red at Roulette Wheel Sick of People Putting Their Money on It

Sam Greenspan, contributor

Hailing principles outlined in their lauded screeds of Marxist literature, Red, embattled in a neo-dogmatic war on behalf of the rights of the proletariat, has finally had enough.

At a roulette wheel located in Reno, Nevada’s second branch of the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino, Red, undergoing a stern socioeconomic analysis of class relations and societal conflict, rebelled against the “cancerous capitalist scourge” when a drunk Texan on vacation from Fort Worth placed all of his money on it. Instead of the marble landing on Red as gravity and the muses of fortune would have otherwise bred, the fates caused the marble to land on the underprivileged and disproportionately represented Black, sparking a sweeping conversation between all parties concerned and touching upon materialist interpretations of historical development, and a newfangled dialectical atlas stone pertaining to social transformation.

After the capitalist pig dog wasn’t victorious in his roll of the wheel, Red began to cite the reasons behind the player’s inevitable failure as a class conflict within capitalism, arising due to savagely intensifying contradictory states between highly-productive and socialized production performed by the proletariat.

Black, intrigued by Red’s interesting philosophy, was appalled to learn that private ownership and unjust appropriation of the surplus product, under capitalist power structures, almost directly and solely benefitted the oligarchical bourgeoisie class. Black, emboldened by the correct language and proper respect for theoretical differences between the Bolshevik Leninism and their current ideological landscape, has, according to sources, begun to geopolitically flirt with several spaces on a neighboring craps table.

The slot machines at the far corner of the cocktail bar are reported to be amassing their stockpile of quarters to combat the red scare as Joe McCarthy’s corpse was dragged on to the casino floor to warn newcomers and provide reusable coasters to patrons.

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