“Cool Pope! Not Cool, Pope!”

George W. Kane, contributor

We now have a Cool Pope! Seriously, did you think you’d live long enough to say the words “Cool” and “Pope” with conviction? Me neither! But this guy has “The Goods!” First off, his real name is Jorge, so, duh, Super Awesome. Pope Francis is doing for the papacy what legal weed did for Colorado: took something supremely uncool and made it Cool! However, nothing is perfect. So here, let’s consider, “Cool Pope!/Not Cool, Pope!”

Pope cussed by mistake during a televised Sunday blessing at the Vatican. Speaking in Italian from a balcony window to a crowd below he had a slip of the tongue. He meant to say the Italian word ‘caso’ meaning ‘chance’ but accidentally said “cazzo,” which means “fuck.” COOL POPE!

Pope asks for forgiveness from people who were sexually abused by priests. He says he felt “called to take it upon myself” and “ask forgiveness” for the evil that priests had committed against children. COOL POPE!

Weeks after he was elected, Pope left the walls of the Vatican to visit a juvenile detention center where he washed and kissed the feet of 12 prisoners incarcerated in Rome as part of the traditional rite. The unorthodox location of ceremony was amplified as the pope included two women, one of them a Muslim, in the ritual. COOL POPE!

 Pope says in sermon that atheists who do good are saved. “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! “Father, even the atheists?” “Even the atheists. Everyone!” We must meet one another doing good. “But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’” But do good: we will meet one another there.” COOL POPE!

It was the quote heard around the world. On a plane back from Brazil, the Pope told a group of reporters, “Who am I to judge a gay person of good will who seeks the Lord?” and opened up a new conversation about gay rights within the Catholic Church. COOL POPE!

Pope attacks unfettered capitalism as “a new tyranny”, criticizing the global economic system, attacking the “idolatry of money”. He asks the rich to share their wealth. “Just as the commandment ‘Thou shalt not kill’ sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say ‘thou shalt not’ to an economy of exclusion and inequality. Such an economy kills”.

“How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses 2 points?” COOL POPE!

 However, Pope is a conservative who is anti-gay marriage and anti-gay adoption. He has described same-sex marriage as the work of the devil and a “destructive attack on God’s plan.” He said that gay adoption is a form of discrimination against children. Not Cool, Pope!

 But Pope Francis has eschewed the traditional “Popemobile” for a Ford Fiesta and more recently cast out “The Bishop of Bling” from his German palace with its $33,566 bathtub and walk-in wardrobe and will turn it into a soup kitchen for poor people. That and he also routinely pisses off Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin, so what more do you want? Now if you’ll excuse me, this atheist is going to so sin it up good, cuz either way, I’m covered! Super Awesome indeed!

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