Creepy Toys for Children

Ray Flynn, staff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teddy Ruxpin – Creepy Mo-Fo that talks and rolls his eyes around. Need I say more?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Furby – Another talking beast with wandering eyes. This one however, is definitely plotting against you. Especially if you have more than one.

Howdy Doody – When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I had Howdy Doody and Charlie McCarthy dolls. It was all fun and games until I read Night of the Living Dummy by R.L. Stine. Then I was sure those fuckers were alive and going to try and kill me in my sleep.

Raggedy Anne doll – Ever heard of the possessed doll Annabelle?

Pet rock – It could go rogue and smash your child’s skull.

Old-fashioned eyeless doll – I can’t believe kids ever had these and were okay with it.

The Bible – Hellfire and eternal damnation, kids!

Good Guy doll – A.K.A. Chucky. This doll does not play well with others.

Hug Me Elmo – He’ll hug the life right out of your child.

Baby Alive – This baby is a bilingual cryer. Real, creepy tears are shed when this humanoid is upset.

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