Ray Flynn, staff
Teddy Ruxpin – Creepy Mo-Fo that talks and rolls his eyes around. Need I say more?
Furby – Another talking beast with wandering eyes. This one however, is definitely plotting against you. Especially if you have more than one.
Howdy Doody – When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I had Howdy Doody and Charlie McCarthy dolls. It was all fun and games until I read Night of the Living Dummy by R.L. Stine. Then I was sure those fuckers were alive and going to try and kill me in my sleep.
Raggedy Anne doll – Ever heard of the possessed doll Annabelle?
Pet rock – It could go rogue and smash your child’s skull.
Old-fashioned eyeless doll – I can’t believe kids ever had these and were okay with it.
The Bible – Hellfire and eternal damnation, kids!
Good Guy doll – A.K.A. Chucky. This doll does not play well with others.
Hug Me Elmo – He’ll hug the life right out of your child.
Baby Alive – This baby is a bilingual cryer. Real, creepy tears are shed when this humanoid is upset.