Dick and Jane Go On A Field Trip

See Dick bring his field trip permission slip with proof of insurance back to school. See Dick’s mom drop off his car seat even though Dick is 8. Coddle, mom, coddle. Dick and Jane’s class is going to the museum!

See Jane step in dog poop before she gets in the parent volunteer van. Did someone fart? No. There is doodoo on the upholstery. It will be a smelly ride. P. U.

Hooray! The volunteer vans arrive at the museum and everyone is still alive! See Dick have to pee very badly. See Jane pick up gum from the sidewalk and put it in her mouth. Let’s go inside!

Dick and Jane’s teacher has a very lonely personal life. Her pants have much cat hair. See Teacher imagine all of the children were hers. That would make her tummy ugly! See Teacher flirt with the Museum Curator. Flirt, sad lady, flirt!

The museum is full! There is art! There are historical artifacts! There is a bathroom Dick didn’t make it to in time! See Dick look sheepish. Form, puddle, form!

Jane points. Jane laughs. Like Jane is perfect. Jane apparently forgets the dog poop incident. The volunteer parent will never forget it. Ever. Jane’s mommy lost a potential friend.

Time to go home. Dick and Jane are very tired. They don’t smell good. Jane will get HepB from the ground gum. A good day for all!

 

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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