And Nine Other Lead-In Questions to Get Kids to Reveal Their Family’s Dirty Secrets
Tiffany Greysen, contributor
Because people are people, we can’t help ourselves. We are nosy and want to know what the Joneses are up to. Here are a few questions you can ask unsuspecting kids to get them to air their family’s dirty, dirty underwear. Kids can’t shut their faces, so you don’t even have to ask
anything and they will pretty much reveal just about everything.
- Where do you live? This is one of the best lead-in questions; it will give you a bunch of choose-your-own-adventure options. Like, how big is your house? How long have you lived there? Does your family rent or own?
- Your mommy looks so nice, did she go to the “get pretty” doctor?
- How often do you see your daddy? Followed with, does your daddy have a girlfriend? Is she pretty? This will open up the door how their mom feels about the new girlfriend. This is helpful for when mom shows up to practice bragging about her new BMW. “How are you and Brittney
doing? I know Alex mentioned you were pretty distraught about the age difference.”
- I like your shoes. Which store did you get them at? Did your mommy pay with a credit card?
- How many grandmas and grandpas do you have?
- Do all your brothers and sisters have the same daddy?
- Do you think the school’s lunches are expensive? (They will sing like like a bird if they are getting free lunches. Now, I have no problem with the free lunch program; I think it’s fantastic and I would never hold it against anyone. It’s nice to put in your back pocket, though, because remember: you will be seeing these parents for the next 12 years. Michelle will eventually get remarried and will be feeling pretty high-and-mighty. This is just an insurance policy.)
- What do your mommy and daddy do for work?
- What kind of wine and beer do you mommy and daddy like? Do they like to drive after having beer and wine?