It’s “Emergency!” Credit Card

Andrea Bartunek, contributor

A lot of people are careful with their money and a lot of people aren’t, but mostly everyone needs a little help from a credit card. Once in a while it’s nice to spend the money you technically don’t have. To help yourself feel less guilty, call this card your “emergency” credit card. The first step in this process is to gain an extremely loose sense of the word emergency. What’s an emergency? In the dictionary it’s “a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate attention.” Literally anything can be an emergency if YOU feel it’s serious, unexpected, or if it requires immediate attention. One really important thing that needs immediate attention is YOU. Think of your life as a series of small emergencies and use your credit card. Just ignore your credit score.

Are you hungry for tacos? Sounds like an emergency. Do you NEED a latte? Emergency. Do you WANT to go on vacation? Emergency! Did you just find that item you’ve been pining over for days on the Internet? Is it galaxy print? Call 911. Are those the last pair of sneakers AND they’re in your size? Are they on sale? Are they one sale from 100 dollars down to 30 dollars? Are they covered in glitter? Do I even have to say it? Emergency. Transportation can be an emergency too. Take a cab if you NEED a cab. Emergency credit cards are acceptable for online shopping. Make sure to yell, “IT’S AN EMERGENCY!” at your computer when shopping online, or at the cashier if in real life. Yelling makes it more believable, but it should be believable because it’s clearly a real emergency and requires immediate attention from your credit card.

Maybe you have a job in customer service and your paycheck is comparable to a handful of dirt. This is why you have an emergency credit card. It’s because you’re poor. You’re probably thinking, “If I’m poor, how am I going to pay off all of these pertinent ‘emergencies?’” Well, you probably won’t. You could attempt to get rich and famous to pay off your credit card debt. However, you should just be responsible and pay off like $40 a month. That will help with some of the guilt and it should cover you until you die. Death is actually an emergency, though, so you’ll just have to put that on your card, too.

 

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