Why England Is a Shell of Its Former Glory

Sarah Godlin, staff

Californians spread a quarter of an avocado on sourdough bread.

Oregonians cut a circle out of wheat toast with a cup and fry an egg inside.

Washingtonians sprinkle capers over their smoked salmon bagel.

Marylanders fill omelettes with potatoes and scrapple.

Texans eat chorizo burritos.

These all seem pretty sane. (Except for the scrapple. That shit’s disgusting.) America does Breakfast right. Pancakes. Bacon. Tortillas. Sausage. Butter. Fruit. U- S-A!

Now let’s check out England.

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And that is why they no longer control the world.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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