Founded as a anti-slavery pamphlet in 1834, Savage Henry Magazine has been through the evolutionary wringer to come out in its current form and, incidentally, with an immunity to syphilis.
The pamphlet’s Co-publisher, Rosa B. Savage, a bespectacled abolitionist and butter enthusiast, penned the first story, “Our Colored Sisters and Brothers Deserve Freedom Under God.” Her partner and editor, Thomas Aberdeen Henry, was a drunkard and horrible editor and often used the type the letter “z” in place of “s” as he was high on hemp. They weren’t helping the cause much and sold the publication rights and the printing press for $40 and a mince pie (which was slightly burnt and had raisins in it. Gross.)
In choosing which founder to emulate in its next form, the new owners put both the words “Savage” and “Henry” into a hat, drank a flask of rye whiskey, lost the hat and went with what they knew. Bad editing and hemp. They named the publication The Soggy Herald, a play on words, for the new editor’s name was Harold and he was drunk as fuck most of ye olde day. The first ad sold was to a hemp fertilizer company. They quickly found their niche in hemp growers and miscreants and published stories such as
* Top ten hemp strains and the politician they remind us of most
* Dvorak’s symphony #9 and why it blows sheep so bad
* The Ale House has Cockroaches but Fuck It! Four Stars!
The publication went on in this manner much longer than anyone thought possible despite its low quality reporting and political cartoons that didn’t make sense. In 1930 Harold’s great granddaughter, Hettie, turned the publication into a fashion/women’s magazine she unwisely called The Australian Home Budget. She was going for exotic yet practical, but she lost her hat and joined others in the migration to California as an itinerant farm worker..
Destitute, she sold her children and her writ of publishing to a man who used the writ to publish a boy scout manual then fell illl. In turn he traded the right to publish to four Humboldt kids for a pound of “Pot of Gold” medical marijuana. Which was very popular at the time.
These four Humboldt idiots renamed the manual after the first owners and wrote a lot of poop jokes.
HERE WE ARE TODAY!