Inspector Confessions

Matt Redbeard, contributor

 

Hormel Chili Inspector 3

Hope you like rat beef.

 

Dreyer’s Ice Cream Inspector 12

That weird “Air Bubble” in the middle is from my nut sack.

 

Hanes Underwear inspector 72

I shit in all your underwear.

 

Saw Mass Market DVD inspector 69

I make sure the case doesn’t have the right sequel number, ‘cause you won’t know the difference.

 

Pabst Blue Ribbon Inspector

Fart – burp (finger knuckle deep into belly button) I finger every bottle.

 

LSD Inspector Grandpa Socks

In my day you could only receive vibrations through a squirrel with a nut in his grill. Sorry I left my arm in your Nixon watch.

About Matt Redbeard

Hella Dope

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