Matt Redbeard, contributor
Hormel Chili Inspector 3
Hope you like rat beef.
Dreyer’s Ice Cream Inspector 12
That weird “Air Bubble” in the middle is from my nut sack.
Hanes Underwear inspector 72
I shit in all your underwear.
Saw Mass Market DVD inspector 69
I make sure the case doesn’t have the right sequel number, ‘cause you won’t know the difference.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Inspector
Fart – burp (finger knuckle deep into belly button) I finger every bottle.
LSD Inspector Grandpa Socks
In my day you could only receive vibrations through a squirrel with a nut in his grill. Sorry I left my arm in your Nixon watch.